Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Chapter Twenty Three

Jesse lay in a crumpled ball on the floor, tears flowed down her face freely, and started to wonder how this went so wrong.

“Idiot” she cursed herself, how could she have been so stupid to do what she just had done. The look in Jon’s eyes had haunted her, hurt, fresh pained hurt. Especially when he had more than admitted he was started to have deep feelings for her, she knew that it had to hurt, understanding or not. She was so confused. She knew he had touched her in a way no man had possibly touched her before, even Jason, but why was she so scared to admit it.

She placed the hand that she had slapped over his face on his heart as her breathing became ragged, she managed to get herself up off the floor and sauntered toward the kitchen, reaching for a glass and a something a little stronger than the coffee she would normally have, reaching for the scotch.

She poured the warm liquid that burned her throat and drove her senses into alcoholic relief. She made it up the stairs back to her bed where she lay across the bed and clutched onto the pillow that only hours ago he was lying on, bringing it to her face she buried herself into it smelling his scent to comfort her, feeling herself beginning to shake as the tears came again.

“I’m so sorry Jon” she whispered. “So sorry” she mumbled as she curled herself around the pillow in a fetal position and fell into a sad slumber.

Jon drove off from the apartment; his heart was pounding furiously, out of anger and out of pain. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and rubbed his cheek that was visibly red where she slapped him, he knew his comments were unwarranted and he’d snapped. He should have thought of this, it was bound to happen, how could he so stupidly believe that she was ready to move on, when she’d kissed him, was she imagining it was him? When she caressed him? All the times they had made love over the last few days? God… no, Jon felt his stomach heave as he fought back the urge to be sick in the car.

“Fuck” he said banging his hands down on the steering wheel. He wanted to turn around and go back, but what was the use?
He knew he couldn’t turn up at Dot and the kid’s place like this, hell, he’d have to explain and he just couldn’t. So he turned down the familiar street to a road that took him to a place he so often went when troubled times came.

Richie had just been finishing up some composing, he had meant to wait till Nashville but he had been started to feel music flow in his veins, so had laid a couple of tunes down to challenge Jon in Nashville to find lyrics for. He glanced up when he heard the security gates go, looking he could see Jon’s car slowly ascend his driveway. Maybe he’d brought the kids over to see their Uncle Mookie; Richie loved those kids like they were his own.

He sauntered outside to the driveway where he had pulled up but soon saw he was alone.
Richie watched as his brother climbed out of the car and he had to take a double take, his hair was all dishevelled and his face pale but an obvious red mark on his left cheek showed.

“Kidd, what the hell happened to you?” Richie asked meeting him at the side of his car.
Jon looked blankly at his friend, with no shame as tears rolled down his cheeks. Richie’s usual warm welcoming expression had changed to one of panic and concern.

“I’ve fucked up Rich” was all he could say, Richie did the thing he knew best to do and pulled Jon into a bear hug and held him tight against his shoulder. Jon shook as the emotion spilled out of him.

They soon pulled away and Jon wiped his face.
“Shit sorry bro, it’s been a mare” he said rubbing his palms across his cheeks.

“Fuck, Kidd, come inside now and tell me what is going on” Richie said leading the way into his house and through to the bar Richie had, he disappeared behind the counter and produced two glasses and poured two fingers each of his top shelf whiskey.

“Here get this into you, and tell me what the fuck has you in this disarray” Richie immediately thinking Dot had finally lost it and told him he couldn’t see his kids or something.

Jon took the glass and knocked back the whiskey.

“Jesse” was all he said. Richie hid his smile. A girl had him in this mess; he hadn’t seen this in so long.

“What happened?” Richie immediately asked.

“I was so stupid, but fuck” he took a breath before continued running his hand thorugh his hair and recomposing himself.

“We were in the middle of, god damn Rich, I was giving her the treatment down there and she cried out her husband’s name” he cursed. Richie saw his eyes darkened before briefly mist up.

“Fuck Kidd, I am so sorry” he said sympathetically. Understanding why Jesse did it, he could imagine Jon’s hurt and very bruised ego at the situation.

Jon held up his hand “There’s more” he said before continuing after a sip to finish the drink.

“I went to leave and we argued, and I accused her of just using me to be a substitute for her husband and lying about wanting to move on” He held his head down. “I hurt her so bad” Jon shook his head.

Richie sighed; Kidd’s temper often flew away with him.
“She slapped you huh?” Richie guessed piecing his obvious red cheek to the incident.

“Yeah I deserved it though, and then I left her” Jon said sadly starting to regret what he’d done and his slip of temperament.

“You’re in love with her aren’t you?” Richie asked, his brown eyes seriously probing his friends.

Jon scoffed. “Yeah, I am fuckin crazy, it’s been a few days Rich, A FEW DAYS, but I don’t know she’s just amazing, insatiable” Jon trailed off.

Richie chuckled Jon looked at him with surprise, but soon noticed the irony of the situation that was dancing across Richie’s lips.

“Yeah fuck you bro” Jon said, as usually it was Richie in love so soon and besotted with a woman in a short period of time, which Jon had taken the time to pay him out on several times in the past.

“Well I didn’t think I would see the day you would fall so fast for a woman” Richie snorted patting his shoulder lightly.

“So what do I do Rich? I am scared, I am scared she really doesn’t want to move on and have a relationship with me, and I always will wonder if she’s thinking of me when-“Jon trailed off, he bit his lip as he didn’t even want to entertain that thought as it hit the pit of his stomach.

“Kidd, bro, I am going to give you some advice I recall some asshole giving me when I was drinking myself blind about five years ago” Richie said poetically. Jon wryly grinned. How did he know he’d use his own advice back on him?

“Don’t go to bed on an augment – you have to see her tonight and apologise and sort it out, and I for one, am not taking your sorry ass to Nashville like this” Richie said with a grin. Jon couldn’t help but laugh. Why was it he knew exactly what to say?

Jon stood up. “You’re right Rich, you are damn well right” he said standing up.

“Thanks man” Jon said as they embraced once again.

“Anytime, brothers right?” Richie asked.

Jon hit his fist with his own “Till the end” he said as he left the house.

He needed to see the kids before bedtime, but then it was back to Jesse’s. Back to possibly make the biggest grovel of his life and back to find out the truth, whether it was what he wanted to hear or not.


Romaine said...

Yeah Jon, that's the right thing to do. Go and speak to her! I hope this will happen soon :-D