Monday, June 30, 2008

Chapter Sixty Five

Jon arrived home and let himself into his apartment flicking on the lights, he threw his keys down on the table. God, he was so wired and restless, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he’d heard from Jesse. Placing his cell phone in the middle of the table with the volume set to high so he wouldn’t miss a text or call if she called. He fished through the liquor cabinet and soon poured himself a strong whiskey before slumping into the large armchair that looked out over the city.

How did all this happen, it was just so freak, he was alive? After all this time. The look in her sad eyes back at the road stayed with him, all he’d wanted to do was hold her and tell her that everything was going to be ok, but was it? He had to be prepared for the worst. This is what happens when you fall in love so quickly he ruefully thought to himself as he thought about drowning himself in alcohol for the night but he needed to be here if she rang.

Two hours and a half a bottle of whiskey later he was laying on his back staring at the ceiling, he couldn’t sleep even with the alcohol that was fogging his brain. This was driving him insane. She hadn’t called. He only kept imagining that she was tucked up in bed with Jason, and they were... god yes his mind had ventured there too often in the last two hours and it made his gut wrench the thought of her with him.

He let out a frustrated grunt and flipped the sheets off before walking back downstairs with his phone. Maybe he should have told her he didn’t want to lose her, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer, that’s what the real Jon would have done dammit.
He just loved her damn too much that he wanted her to choose him, because she wanted to. That was it.

It was a little after four in the morning, but he knew Richie wouldn’t mind. They had an understanding. And besides if Kia was with him, she needed to know about Jason.
He walked out to the balcony and sighed hitting speed dial and waiting for the answer he so badly needed right now.

“Fuck... Hello?” a voice muttered on the other end. Richie was never one for waking up fast.

“Hey Dean, it’s me” was all Jon could muster.

“Frank? What the hell, what’s wrong?” Richie knew Jon never rang at this time of the night unless it was bad.

“God, I don’t know how to even say this man, Jesse’s husband Jason, he’s not dead, he came home tonight” he said straight as you could.

“What? FUCK? You are kidding me?” he blurted suddenly coming to attention. “He’s alive? How is Jesse? God, how are you?” he asked concerned.

“How do you think Dean, I’m just…shit” Jon couldn’t help the lone tear that ran down his cheek.

Richie’s heart went out to his friend, god he’d never heard Jon so flat since back in the late 80’s before he had his mini breakdown, and he thought he’d never hear the same fear in his voice until he heard it now.

“Jon, I’ll be there in ten” Richie confirmed as he shut his phone, this was serious. Shit, Kia needed to know about this as well. It was one night that they had opted not to spend together since they had started dating. Typical he thought to himself as he threw on his jeans and a shirt before heading out the door.

Jon closed his phone and wiped away the stray tear, he refused to cry. He walked back inside and placed the phone back on the table, he stared just a little longer as he wished it would just ring. He sank back into the chair.

His eyes fell to the couch where the shirt she had made him was slung over the back of it. Moving there he took hold of it and quickly took off the shirt he had on and slipped it on. Her love and care that had gone into the fabric was holding small comfort to him right now as he closed his eyes and leaned back.

“Fuck” he muttered angry at himself for doing it, tormenting himself more. He had to hold himself together, he wouldn’t let her see how distraught this was making him, it would only guilt her. And he couldn’t let himself do that to her.

A knock on the door only a few minutes later brought him back to earth as he shuffled off the couch and went to unlock the door. He managed a small smile as Richie stood there, a six pack of beer in his hands.

The sight of Jon was a sore one to Richie, the man that stood before him, hunched and pale held very small resemblance to the Jon he was used to.
“Hey bro” he said as they met in a man hug pat down style.

Richie walked in and placed the beers down next to the half of bottle of whiskey that was on the table. “You’ve had a head start I see” he said as he popped the tops off two beers and handed one to Jon.

“Yip” he said as he took a swig from the cool bottle and motioned to the chairs.

“So how the hell is he still alive?” Richie asked joining him.

Jon let out an exasperated sigh “Well he was a prisoner of war, he’d been held somewhere in secret, he wasn’t where they thought he was when the explosion that killed him happened” he explained. God it sounded like a soap opera.

“Holy shit, and Jess, she must be in shock” Richie said watching Jon fiddle with the labelling at the neck of the bottle.

“She’s a mess, I left her to talk to him in private as I thought that it would be the right thing to give them sometime together, but now, I dunno, she hasn’t called, she said she would, or come over when she was done, I told her I would wait and work it out with her, but fuck it all.. All I want to do is drive around there and tell her I’m not letting her go” he explained.

“Well you did more than I would of Jon. You did the right thing, I would have begged her by now” Richie admitted leaning back and crossing one of his lanky legs over the other.

“I’m close to it Rich, fuckin close” he swore.

“She loves you Jon she was going to marry you, she’s crazy about you, Kia’s told me that she hasn’t seen her THIS happy even with Jason” Richie admitted.

Jon smiled knowing Richie was just trying to make him feel better. He always seemed to know the right things to say in the right moments.
“Thanks man, I just hope she sees it that way. I can’t imagine what it’s like for Jason though, coming home and seeing her engaged to someone else” Jon mused.

“Well, it’s not like she’s cheated on him, and he had to realize in reality that she might of moved on, its tragic but it happens, life does go on when you make peace with someone’s death” he said. “She’s done nothing wrong here, but her emotions are gonna be all over the place, she’ll be looking for a way to not hurt one of you, but again someone is going to in the end, there’s no way around it” he said seriously. He hoped it wasn’t Jon but he could see Jon had already resided himself to that possibility.

Jon rose an eyebrow “Always can count on you for woman advice, if anyone knows them it’s you” But Richie was right on the money with his observations. He looked down into the bottle as he swirled the gold liquid around. “I just don’t want to lose her Richie, I fought so hard for her at first to give me the chance and she did, and now I can’t see my life without her” and he couldn’t. That scared Jon as he’d never been the sort of person that was defined by another. He’d controlled himself and his own emotions all these years. But he needed Jesse. There was something about her that he couldn’t be without.

Richie nodded “I know you cant Jon, but don’t go writing yourself off so quickly, its been one day bro, she’s going to flip flop through this, just be patient” Richie said although that was always easier said than done.

“Yeah I know, guess you can just call it preparing for the worst case scenario, you know me” he said finishing the first beer before he watched Richie collect the next two for them.

After an hour of talking it out with Richie Jon felt a lot calmer than he had all night, of course this was also due to the alcohol weighing heavily on his body. He didn’t see it coming when he closed his eyes and fell into a light sleep. Richie stood and took the beer out of his hand and let him be.

“You poor bastard” he whispered as he patted his shoulder and settled himself on the couch to grab a few winks.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Chapter Sixty Four

Jesse stared at Jon he was just going to leave? She could see the defeated look on his face and this wasn’t her Jon at all. She knew this had to be hard on him to leave but she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to. The talk with Jason had to happen, even though she was sure he had an idea of what was at play here, she had to talk to him and hear him out properly.

“I’ll walk you out” she didn’t wait for him to refuse. The clicks of her heels echoed in the night as she pounded her heels into the concrete till she reached the street. Tears began to stream down her face while she waited for him to come out of the complex behind her.

“Jess…” he called until he saw her, it ripped his heart out to see her like this. He couldn’t even imagine what this had to feel like for her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb.

The sobs she had been trying to bite back all night hit her hard as she clung to him in the darkness and let go. How did this happen? She was supposed to be happy her husband wasn’t dead and she was, she truly was but she wasn’t anywhere as near elated as she should have been.

Jon wrapped his arms around her and ran his hand lazily over her lower back. “Shh baby, this has to be one hell of a shock for you, I know it is for even me” he admitted letting out a soft sigh.

She looked up at him with tear stained cheeks that shone in the street lights. “I don’t want you to go” she whispered “Don’t walk out on me” she begged fearful he’d never come back.

He shook his head “Jess, god I would never... I just want to give you time to talk to him, I get the feeling he’s not comfortable with me there and I understand that, it must be hard for him too to see you with someone else” he said understandingly. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms right around her holding her closer to his body.

Rubbing her back harder and with a confident tone he spoke “I’m not walking out on you, I love you, but I need to let you take all this in, I’m not stupid this could really change things Jess, but lets take it slow and work through it” he suggested. It was honestly the last thing he wanted but he couldn’t pressure her, and didn’t feel right making her promise she wouldn’t leave him for Jason. It just didn’t. It was taking every part of him to make his feet walk to leave her there tonight.

Jesse stayed in his arms for a couple of moments while she processed what he’d just said. God, he really thought she was possibly going to go back to Jason. She sighed. She knew she couldn’t promise anything to him right now until she had sorted out everything. Her heart was aching for two men right now, both who she couldn’t imagine not having in her life by choice.

She looked up to meet his azure gaze where she could see the pain he was trying to hide. “Can I come around later after I’m done talking, I just don’t think I can stay here” she quietly said.

He stroked her hair back from her face. Placing his palms on the softness of her cheeks he managed a small smile. “Of course you can, you know you’re welcome at my place anytime baby, you just call me when you get there and I’ll let you in, I’m here for you, anything I can do, I will be waiting” he soothed gently as he ran his finger down her cheek to rest on her chin. Her eyes still held so much pain and fear, he felt like an asshole for leaving her but it had to be done, she needed to talk to her husband without him there. It was the decent thing for a man to do.

Jesse buried her head into his chest taking in his scent one more time while he called a taxi on his cell phone. She didn’t want to go and wasn’t looking forward to facing what awaited her inside. Part of her wanted to jump in the taxi with Jon and just escape into the night but the other part knew she had to stay.

The taxi arrived in record time, Jon felt Jesse grip him tighter. Shit, maybe he should stay with her and just make sure she would be ok, he was sure he was doing the right thing leaving her. He didn’t want her to be influenced by him on anything she said to Jason and he had the right to talk to his wife in private.

“Baby, I need to go, but you know where I am right, just come ok?” he tilted her chin to meet her gaze “anytime” he said. He pressed his lips to hers firmly and held her tight one more time as he felt the tears prick at the corner of his eyes. What if this was it, what if he woke up tomorrow and she wanted her husband back?
“I love you” he whispered “I’ll always love you” he said before releasing her and climbing into the taxi without saying another word before he broke.

Jesse watched the taxi disappear desperate not to start running after it. She tried to recompose and took a deep breath as she walked back into the house to face her past that was now her future.

She found Jason looking through her catalogue; he looked up at her when she came back in and smiled “Hey”. God he still smiled exactly the same. He still looked like the same handsome man that had left her all those months ago.

“You like?” she asked as she watched him flip through the glossy brochure.

“These are great, you seem to be still doing well, in more than one way” he added, Jesse knew he meant Jon. The dark look in his eyes told her that.

“Jason, we need to talk” she said as she sat back down on the couch and clasped her hands together on her knees.

Jason sat beside her but kept his distance “How long have you been seeing him?” he asked her. He really didn’t want the details but he had to know what he was dealing with with here.

She sighed “About three months, but it hasn’t been easy, I didn’t want to date anyone, and the way I met Jon was well, it was unexpected, and we clicked” she took a deeper breath “And he has just asked me to marry him a couple of days ago” she said not wanting to look at him.

Jason nodded well he’d already seen the ring so that explained that.
“So you really love him? It wasn’t just that you needed someone?” he asked. He almost regretted the way that it came out. Jesse had never needed someone to love her.

Jesse snapped her eyes up to his gaze. “Because I needed somebody? What sort of comment is that Jason? I love Jon, I love him with all my heart, I didn’t just need him, and how could you say that?” she asked haughtily.

Jason cringed watching that fire in her eyes he knew all too well spark “Jesse that’s not what I mean honey, that’s not what I meant at all” he said. The way she had snapped just confirmed that she really was in love with Jon. He could see it in the way she looked at him, and the way that he’d looked at her. They were in love.

“Well it sounded like it, yes I moved on and don’t you dare make me feel guilty that I did, you were dead Jason, dead... You have no idea what that was like. I had to lock you away somewhere in my heart and move on, it was the only way” she cried. Shit she was a mess, more tears?

He cautiously put his arm around her shoulders, he had hardly touched her since he’d arrived home and it was driving him insane. He was surprised when she didn’t move away so he pulled her in closer as she choked on sobs.
“I missed you so much” he said as he stroked her hair and held her close to his chest.

“I missed you too Jason, I just…” she was so confused, her own chest was so tight with emotion, no one should ever have to be in the position she was in right now. She looked up into familiar warm brown eyes that offered so many memories and comforts. The man she had loved for six years versus the man she’d loved for three months.

“Its ok Jesse, I’m home now” he leaned in and brushed gently against her lips. She closed her eyes stunned and unable to move as she fell into his kiss, her hands moved to the nape of his neck drawing him in closer. This was home, her home. Did she want it back? And did she let the most amazing man she had met walk away from her? She was confused without a way out to not hurt one of them.

Chapter Sixty Three

Chapter Sixty Three

Jesse just stood there nailed to the ground staring at the man that once was her husband, who was just was sitting on the couch almost nervously. She watched him stand up and smile walking over to her and placing his hands on her shoulders.

“Jas-How, what” she could hardly string a sentence together, she felt like the wind had been knock out of her body.

Tears welled to her eyes, the grief she had battled to accept in the last six months, now once again just as raw as he stood before her. He looked just like her Jason, the dark rings under his eyes and the paleness of his skin gave away that his health hadn’t been the best.

“I have been a Prisoner of War Jesse, they thought I was dead as I was supposed to be where that explosion happened, and no one knew any less” he explained softly. “God I have missed you so much” he said wrapping his arms around her.

Jon just watched on in just as much shock as Jesse, the feeling that hit him hard in the heart wasn’t a good one when he watched Jason hug her. He couldn’t get jealous over that, he thought they were still married, Christ, this meant she was still married. How did the marines make such a stupid mistake? He wondered.

Jesse pulled away from Jason as she turned to Jon, Jon! Oh god what he must be thinking right now? What did she do? How did she tell Jason she had moved on?

Jason’s gaze flicked over to the man that stood in the doorway, he’d figured as soon as he’d seen him that he was with Jesse. So she’d moved on just like he’d asked if anything happened to him. It was one thing to say and mean it, it was another to actually be faced with that reality.

“Uh Jason, this is Jon, Jon, Jason” there was a sentence she never had dreamed about having to say.

Jon shook his hand in an amicable handshake “Nice to meet you Jason” he said politely.

Jason just nodded in reply. So many questions he wanted to ask but he couldn’t.

Jesse knew she had to tell Jason she was engaged to Jon, it wasn’t fair to Jon to at all and she could see how on edge Jon was, she couldn’t blame him.

“I think I need a drink” she said shakily as she walked to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. Two men that loved her more than life itself, two men that she adored, standing right here in the same room as her.

As she brought it to her lips the best if the moment flew by her.
“What the hell happened Jason? You were dead, how the fuck did they make that mistake?” she asked clearly angry as her hands clenched together.

Jason was taken aback at her tone, and so was Jon but Jon knew she was just in shock. Who the hell wouldn’t be?

She took a deep breath and centred herself “Sorry” was all she said as she waited for his reply.

“Jesse, please sit down so I can explain, and Jon” he said motioning to the couch. Jason watched as Jon put his arm around Jesse and whispered in her ear.

“Come on baby, lets find out what’s been going on, you have the right to know before, you know making a decision” he said, Jesse saw the pained look on his face. Her eyes grew wider; she thought he was just going to give up on them just like that?

“Jon” she began but he shook his head. “Jess, lets listen to him ok” he said as his hand rubbed the small of her back lightly. “I’ll be here” his reassuring gaze had her nodding and heading to the couch.

He knew he had to put her feelings and emotions first right and then deal with his own and what this all meant, she was in shock the normal confident radiant woman, was pale and shaky right now. They both settled on the couch, Jon opting just to sit next to her, it must be hard for Jason to see someone else all over his wife so his hands remained on his knees relaxed.

Jason began to explain that him and three others, a British and two Australian soldiers had been held for the last six months in a camp in a remote area outside Al Salman, it was off the beaten track and no one knew we were even there, they were all thought to be in the explosion that happened in Al Salman that evidently caused their deaths. But instead they had been captured and held for six months in isolation in a southern village. Because they were assumed dead no one went looking for them.

He told them how they finally were recognised by their accents funnily enough by a tourist that had been on an intrepid style journey in the area, who alerted the proper authorities.

Jesse knew what POW camps were like; she was surprised to see Jason in the decent condition he was in. She couldn’t believe it, he had been there all this time? While she grieved he was alive in some third world country to survive.
“Was it awful?” her voice soft and full of concern.

He nodded “At times it was Jesse, I’m not going to lie but I guess one thing that kept me going was I had to get out, and come home to see you” he said honestly. As it was true the only things that kept him sane while in the depths of the hell he had lived in was the hope that he’d see her again. Jason wasn’t stupid he knew it had been a long time and things had changed. He just wasn’t sure how much they had at this point.

She sucked in her breath, here he was fighting to stay alive for her and get home and her she was having the time of her life with another man she’d fallen in love with. God this was just a nightmare.

She shook her head still feeling the disbelief settle in her stomach.
“I can’t believe it, I know it’s not your fault but do you know how hard these last six months have been Jason, and I was a mess. I missed you like crazy, I wouldn’t go out, I let my work suffer at first, only recently have I found the strength in someone to do all that again” she admitted looking sideways at Jon.

Jon sat and listened to her, he wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok. But in front of Jason now, that just felt oh so wrong.

This wasn’t exactly the homecoming he had envisioned all these months, he should have known being as beautiful as she was, it wouldn’t take her long to find another man. There was something familiar about Jon but right now he couldn’t place it. When she brushed her hair back from her face and let a exasperated sigh out he caught a glimmer a flash that wasn’t his engagement ring. She was engaged to him? Shit.

“I know Jesse, this isn’t easy and obviously things have changed, but aren’t you glad to see me?” he asked giving Jon a sideways glance.

She nodded “Of course I am” she took a long swig of the drink still firmly in her hand. She felt that Jason was just sitting there he probably expected her to leap into his arms all this time and just carry on, never expecting to come home to this. It wasn’t her fault but why did she feel like the worst person in the world right now. Tears welled to her eyes of the love lost that was no longer lost, and the love that she had found in recent months both sat in her lounge. What the hell did she do? She’d stopped, forced herself to finally fall out of love with Jason because he was gone, and fell in love with an amazing man. But now? They both were here.

Jon’s heart went out to her, this couldn’t be easy as he knew Jesse’s love for Jason ran deep, he learnt that patiently in the first few months of the relationship. But her love for him was something he wasn’t going to be willingly to give up on just like that. He couldn’t ask her, this was going to take time to work through and he knew he had to be patient. Taking a deep breath he forced himself to speak.
“I’m going to go, you two probably need to talk” he said looking at Jesse.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Chapter Sixty Two

Jesse felt her heart thundering in her chest as Jon’s hands were trying to make quick work of the dress, her only defence was to try and grab his hand as he tried to undo the snaps on the seam of the dress, his fingers entwining through the fabric reaching to pull it.

She pulled away from the fire and persistence of him to breathe “Jon, we cant here baby, it’s too risky” her mind was centred firmly on the couple of hundred people inside the event centre that if they knew what she was doing it was a huge risk to her reputation.

Jon didn’t stop the alcohol and desire clearly clouding his mind as his hands started to make light work of the dress just as it was intended, he pulled her around further so that they were concealed from any on lookers. “I can’t Jess, I can’t stop” his voice low and rich with one intent only as his lips brushed across her shoulders and back up her jaw line to meet her lips. He needed her and he needed her now. She saw his need and urgency and her fingers quickly tried to unbuckle his belt.

Her hands soon found his warm flesh nestled inside the fabric of the pants.
A wide grin spread across his face as he whispered “See I’m not the only one that doesn’t wear underwear” he teased.

“Jon you never wear it” she replied back as she took his length in her hands and began stroking down the shaft, he let a small groan out as he put his hands on the tree above her to brace himself as she set to work. She soon dropped to her knees in front of him and took in fully in her mouth, licking and teasing the tip before plunging her mouth down his length to start a slow rhythm.

“Jesus Christ” he swore as he leaned harder into the tree, his fingers scraping against the coarse bark as she continued her sweet merciless journey down him.
Groans and grunts followed as he watched her bob up and down on him, he knew he couldn’t take much more so his hands soon found her shoulders and brought her back up to him. She looked confused before he pushed her back against the tree once more and his mouth started a dance down her neck all the way to her velvety breasts. His tongue flickering over the already hard pink rosy tip and taking it into his mouth as he lovingly began to suck.

His name fell from her lips as she felt the bark graze across her back when she leaned hard against it. Her own hands stroked his hair and across his shoulders as he moved from one breast to the next paying her just as much attention there before he slid further down her body to his own knees. He hooked a long slender leg over his shoulder as he teased her entrance with the tip of his tongue.

A soft whimper made it from her throat as his tongue edged further into her, complemented with light nips and nibbles he provided her with a stimulation that was bordering on unreal. When he lifted his thumb to rub along her clit she moaned and begged him for more. How was it one man could make her feel like this?

Her heart was pounding as he soon made his way back up to her, this was crazy, if the people inside could see her now, she’d die, this wasn’t the Jesse they knew. She glanced back at the party as Jon tickled kisses across her neck and back up to her lips; he cupped her face so she was staring down the barrel of two loaded lust eyes.

“You’re thinking about getting caught aren’t you?” he whispered into the night as his body pressed closer to hers.

She nodded “Jon, if they knew I was out here doing...” she trailed off as the grin on his face suggested nothing was worth contesting. He pulled her leg across his hip and entered her quickly which made her gasp and reach for his hair.

“It’s the thrill of the moment Jesse, anyone could walk out here right now and see that I’m fucking you” his gravely words fell on her earlobe sending shivers down her body as he began to roll his hips into her.

She bit back a scream as the pleasurable feeling of him ripped through her. “Keep talking” she panted. She needed to hear more.

His eyebrow cocked and a crooked grin spread across his face as he leaned in closer, lips just grazing her neck. Well hell if she wasn’t being turned on but just his words.

“You’ll want to scream soon, the feeling with become too much baby… and you can’t you have to be very quiet, so no one can hear us…no one” sucking on her bottom lip gently he pulled away and held a finger up to his lips.
“Shhhh, only naughty girls are loud, are you naughty baby?”

She shook her head “I’m a good girl” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck to brace herself as he plunged deeper into her.
“Jon!” she gasped as she held on her senses were starting to unfold and she was starting to lose control.

“So quiet, so beautiful, so naughty” he teased as his mouth found her nipples again as his thrusts grew stronger, he could feel her walls beginning to clench around his cock, his thoughts only now focused on one thing. His lips met hers in a fiery kiss as he brought her hands up to above her head resting them on the tree.

“Jon, please… god” she panted, her release was coming, here tension was rising. Again he’d made her forget, forget the fact that they were right outside just metres away from a sea of people.

“Say what you want, say what you need baby” he gasped as the words came out.

“I need you Jon, I want you…” she placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him with all she had and all she was as her body shook under his.

His release came just as quick as he muffled his shouts in her shoulder, looking back up at her tenderly he kissed her nose and picked up the dress quickly and reassembled it on her body along with the belt.
“This is a keeper” he laughed gently against her neck breathing in her sweet musky scent.

“So you approve?” she teased as she tried to straighten herself up so she didn’t look she’d just been ravaged like a cave woman when she went back in.

“I think you might just make a lot of money with that idea baby, I know handfuls of men that would want their girls in that sort of clothing” he laughed as he brushed down his pants and re did his buttons of his shirt. Taking her arm they walked back into the party.

The rest of the night went extremely well in Jesse’s opinion her new collection had garnered interested in some top international buyers and with the trip to Milan on the horizon, it had been a major success, she leaned back in the car with a stretch and a yawn.

“Big night huh baby?” Jon asked pulling her in closer to him.

“The biggest but I think it went well don’t you?” she asked as she ran her hand down his arm that was tucked around her waist.

“I do, they loved you, I am no expert but I can see it, I’m so proud of you Jess, you deserve everything to happen for you, I know you’ve worked so hard at this, I know you have” he placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Thanks Jon, it means a lot that you are here with me, it really does” she said as she laid back into his heat.

“Anytime you need me to, I will be, I promise, this is about us now, you know that don’t you?” he asked.

She smiled “Yeah I know it is, its all us, together we’ll conquer the fashion world, and well the music world even though you’ve done not a bad job on that already” she teased.

Jon managed a soft chuckle “I cant deny that its been a hell of a ride but hopefully there are many more trips to take down that road, that you will be a part of my dear” he said as the car came to a stop outside her house he stood out and offered his hand to her once more.

Jon knew he would spend the night at her place again tonight, his mind was still heavily set on asking her to move into his apartment but he didn’t know if she would, this would mean she really would have to leave those memories behind her.

Jesse quickly walked to the front door, she frowned as she realized she’d left the living room light on as she unlocked the door and swung it opening it, and froze to the spot. Her eyes were deceiving her they had to be… no way…no freakin way.

“J-Jason?” she stuttered. There sitting on the couch as if he never left, looking a little worse for wear was her husband.

Jon whirled around as her words rang in his ears as he followed her gaze to indeed where the man from the pictures was sitting in living color on her couch.
He stood frozen to the ground just as she was, he was alive? How the hell did this happen?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Chapter Sixty One

Jesse picked up one of the white gold hoops and pinned it into her ear, as she put the final touches on her outfit, with ten minutes to spare before Jon came to collect her. She smiled at herself in the mirror, letting her hair tumble around her shoulders in curls, as she’d just run the curling iron through them for the desired effect.

The rest of the day with George had been spent putting the final touches on things, as well as a last minute secret project. She laughed admiring herself in the mirror, at the knee high strapless black dress she was wearing, that clung to her curves, the sleek shimmer material that was held together by snaps, freaking snaps down the side seams off the dress, you couldn’t see them as they under the seam neatly so anyone who looked closer was none the wiser. She’d told Jon on the phone earlier that day she had a surprise for him but never alluded to exactly what it was.

This however meant literally the dress could be ripped right off her body. It had come about when she’d George Jon’s idea and that afternoon they had made the dress, firstly as a joke, but George actually thought that it was a great idea. She had a red chiffon belt tied around her waist that just added that flavour to the outfit and topped off with of course black pumps that showed off her long slender legs. She grinned; she couldn’t wait to tease Jon on this one. A thick chunky beaded necklace was added to her neck, and a squirt of Angel perfume and she was done.

At six o’clock there came a knock on the door, she opened the door to find Jon standing there in a black sleek suit, wide collared white shirt with a black tie. Her breath caught in her throat as he looked incredible, the suit outlining every one of his masculine curves.
“Oh my...” was all she could manage taking him all in.

On the other side of the door Jon stood breathless himself as the vision of all things beautiful came into view. His eyes wondered along her legs and up her body noting how the dress hugged all her curves perfectly, her hair, cascading over her shoulders shaping her face perfectly.

“Jess, you look incredible” he said as he leaned forward to brush his lips across hers lightly, he was scared to mess her up any further as she’d gone to a lot of effort. She was sexy, elegant, and had that air of sophistication about her that he loved so dearly.

She just nodded smiling “You don’t scrub up too bad for a rock star” she joked as he took her hand and led her out to the chauffeured car that was waiting for them.

As they were settled in the car and on their way to the convention centre where this was being held she turned to him, as he slipped his arm around her shoulders.

“So you want to know what your surprise is?” she asked in low whisper so the driver couldn’t hear them.

Jon looked down into mischievous brown eyes “Do I want to know?” he had a feeling he was going to regret asking. “Go on then…” he grinned as he squeezed her shoulder.

“This dress I’m wearing, I made this afternoon” she said softly as her fingers trailed innocently up the lapel of his dress jacket.

“Mmhmm, it’s very sexy, but I get the feeling there’s something else” he asked poised ready for her response, as his fingers drew gentle circles on her bare shoulder.

“Well Darlin, I took your suggestion the other night. And this is the first in the collection of easy to get out of clothes” the smirk she tried to hide was unsuccessful.

He raised an eyebrow and his eyes started to re-examine the dress “You didn’t” he bit back a soft laugh, you couldn’t even tell.

Jesse took one of his hands and placed it on the beginning of the seam under her arm “Pull it” she instructed, her voice low and husky. Jon did as he was told and his eyes widened when the fabric literally detached right before his eyes revealing the hint of her skin to his eyes.

“Uh huh, all the way down, and the whole thing will just come off” she whispered as her hand snaked up around to the nape of his neck “Oh and before I forget, I’m not wearing any underwear” her whisper tickled across his ear as he took a big gulp. Not even having time to respond as the car pulled up to the venue. God damn she hadn’t, she was going to kill him he was sure of it. And he had a whole night ahead to get through.

The driver opened their door and Jon climbed out before offering his hand to Jesse and helping her out of the car. His eyes couldn’t keep off the dress imagining all kinds of scenarios in his head he knew he shouldn’t be. Once they both walked inside cameras flashed and press from various fashion magazines flew questions at them, in particular Jesse, it was odd for him to be on the other foot tonight, as all he had to do was just smile and hold onto her, while she answered the questions about her line, and worked the room like a pro.

They both soon took their seats as the fashion show started. Jon watched in amazement as the show started. Different designer’s clothes were all on display until it was Jesse’s collection; he couldn’t help feel the pride swell in his chest as he took her hand and pressed it to his lips. The show went successfully and was soon over and the after party which apparently as pre warned by Jesse was the most important part of the evening, smoozing with the big guns of the fashion industry.

As soon as they entered the room Jon noticed a petit dark haired gentleman rush over to Jesse and hug her babbling about how the show went. He stood back and looked at Jon and grinned.
“You must be Jon, it’s a pleasure to meet you” Jon got the shock of his life when the man kissed his cheek. “I’m George” he said proudly.

“Pleased to meet you” Jon said graciously, he watched as George and Jesse got lost in their own little world babbling excitedly before George flicked a grin at Jon and then back at Jesse with a question of some sort. When Jesse nodded George peeled with laughter.

He rolled his eyes and took Jesse’s hand “Why do I get the impression I’m been talked about” he teased.

Jesse looked up “Sorry baby George helped me make the dress” she smiled. Jon felt his cheek slightly flush as George placed his arm on his.

“We really could use someone like you on the team Jon, you come up with great ideas I hear” he winked before making an excuse to mingle. Jon felt his cheeks burn as he watched George disappear into that crowd.

“He’s um, high octane” Jon commented with a grin.

“He is, he’s my backbone that man, like Richie’s yours, I couldn’t do half the things I manage without him” she explained as she sipped her champagne as they weaved through the crowds.

Jon nodded knowing exactly what she meant as it was true with Richie and him “We’re lucky to have people like that, people who compliment our style”. They continued to socialize, as the night went on and Jon’s mind became more clouded with alcohol, he couldn’t keep his mind off that dress. She really had done it, god damn she was liable to kill him before he was fifty.

Once she had finished talking with some potential buyers from Milan, Jesse was on cloud nine, the show had been a success more than she’d anticipated and she had garnered a lot of overseas buyer interest which is what she was aiming for. When they suggested that she come and spend a week in Milan to discuss it further she just about hit the floor. She looked back to the floor where Jon was talking George.

“Hey you” she said wrapping her arms around his waist. Jon didn’t have a chance to respond as George wanted to know the details.

“What did Keenan and Grace say?” he asked excitedly.

She stood up and grinned broadly “They want me to go to Milan for a week and discuss it, while staying in their Italian Villa”.

Jon closed his eyes as George shrieked and couldn’t help but laugh, he turned to move Jesse to his side “That’s fantastic news baby, just fantastic” he beamed pulling her in for a kiss.

“You have to come with me, I’ve never been there and I know you have a couple of times” she said wanting Jon to be a part of this with her.

“Of course I can, schedule pending, but I would love to be there” his lips nuzzled into her neck. She smelt so sweet and alluring tonight, it was driving him insane.

“Awe look at you two” George said again before bouncing off somewhere else.

“Let’s go for a walk” Jon suggested leading her outside past the partygoers into the small secluded courtyard. He had one goal in mind and he wasn’t letting go of in a hurry.

She struggled to keep up with him, as he pulled her to the far side where no one seemed to be around, pushing her gently up against the tree his lips hovered over her ear, his warm breath hot on her skin.

‘It’s time to test the dress” his voice low and sultry sent shivers through to her very core as his hands began to run up her thigh.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Chapter Sixty

Chapter Sixty

Jesse woke early the next morning when she became aware of the sunlight that was stretching across the bed, rolling over out of Jon’s grasp she reached up to look at the bedside clock that read 7.35am.

“Shit!” she exclaimed as she made a mad dash out of the bed and into the bathroom. It was the day of her launch and she had a huge day ahead. She had completely lost herself in the moment of last night to remember to set an alarm for this morning. She knew George would already be there hopefully armed with a very large long black.

Quickly showering and then grabbing the towel off the rack she pulled her clothes from last night back on and towel dried her hair, she’d have to catch a cab home, change and then get to work.

She paused briefly the when the diamond on her finger caught in her hair. She held it out in clear view and smiled to herself still not really believing that he’d proposed last night. What an amazing night, an amazing man, and now she was in an amazing panic. She scurried into the bedroom expecting to find Jon still asleep but he wasn’t there. Grabbing her purse she clambered down the stairs into the living room.

Jon had woken just minutes before as he’d heard the running of the shower trickle through to the bedroom. He rolled over and grinned remembering the night before, her scent still lightly on the pillow that he breathed into. God he was the luckiest man in the world right now.

He glanced at the clock realizing she’d be frantically desperate to get to work, he knew she’d done all the prep work but as a perfectionist himself he understood she needed to be there to oversee the day before the launch. He pulled himself out of bed and wrapped his terrycloth robe around his body before padding downstairs to make coffee. He called a cab to come and pick her up in ten minutes so she could head home before work. When found his brushed steel travel mug he filled it with coffee just in time to watch Jesse thunder down the stairs.

“Morning sexy, here’s one to go, cab will be outside in a few minutes” he grinned handing her the coffee.

She sighed and laughed “Star treatment now?” she graciously took the coffee and took a long sip. “God that’s good” she breathed as she took a long sip. He’d made her coffee and called her a cab, I really could get used to being this spoilt she thought her herself.

“Only the best for my girl, now what time do I need to be ready for tonight?” he asked her.

She thought for a second “How about you pick me up from my place at six? I like to get there early. Oh and its black tie, too” she said as she started to head out the door. “But call me later, only if you want, I should be in the office most of the day, except around two I have a meeting with the agency we do a mock run through of the nights proceedings, so yeah ring before two, as after that meeting I will probably be rushing home and –“she went to spin around to finish her sentence but he’d grabbed her and pressed his lips on hers.

He’d watch her babble insanely and laughed how much they actually were alike when they were focused and driven. Even for a dishevelled still half wet from the shower woman, she looked amazing. “There, now that’s better isn’t it…” he smirked as she’d calmed and stopped talking a million miles a minute.

She managed a chuckle “Sorry, I kind of get going when in this mode, you’ll learn that” she teased as she put her coffee down and wrapped her arms around his neck and met him in a touching kiss. “Just call me later” she whispered as she watched his blue eyes shining into hers.

“I will promise, now go and I’ll see you at six, I’ll get a car to drive us, I assume there’s alcohol at these things?” he asked with a grin. He’d been to a fashion launch before a fair few years ago for Versace and recalled it.

She nodded “Oh yeah plenty of it, see you then lover” she winked as she slipped from his grip and out the door. As arranged the cab was waiting there for her. After a rushed trip home to change she had made it to the office around thirty minutes later where George was pacing the room.

“Jesse!! Oh my god, where have you been girl?” he almost squeaked rushing over to her in his pinstripe suit.

“Sorry I’m late, big night, long story” she breathed as she flung her bag and things onto the desk. George snatched her hand immediately as the glint of the rock caught in the light.

“Oh my Lorddd, he didn’t!” George exclaimed excitedly staring at the large diamond noting the princess cut and intricate engravery around the band.

She smiled nodding “Yeah he did, big surprise after the show I attended last night, totally came out of left field”.

“Congratulations Doll, this is just wonderful!” George rushed to the table where he’d previously laid the Starbucks cups, handing her one he sat down opposite her desk and leaned forward his chin resting on his hands.

“I need details, everything, how he did it, what you did… tell me everything honey” he demanded. Jesse took one look at him leaning over the desk like a kid waiting for a bedtime story and laughed. She leaned back and crossed her legs and began to tell him the whole story from the song, to the dressing room proposal.

George let out a big sigh “How romantic, I can’t wait to meet him tonight, just look at you, you make me want to vomit all over again, you’re so ridiculously happy” he shook his head with a smile.

Jesse nodded as she took a sip of the latte. “That I am god... I can’t really believe it, but it just feels right, it really does. I just hope his family and his parents are ok about all this” she said out loud. She hadn’t told George too much about all that but it was now something that weighed on her mind. God, and how would Jason’s parents take all this? It was something she needed to shove out of her mind for today, as she needed to worry about the task that was at hand.

George arched a finely manicured eyebrow “His parents don’t like you?” he couldn’t even fathom why; he loved Jesse like a sister himself. She had an infectious personality and a style and class about her that not many women he knew had.

She sighed “It’s a long story George, I’ll tell you sometime, but right now we need to get a move on” she said as she shifted and picked up the clothes that they had laid out that needed to be sent to the models this afternoon.

George held up a linen dress “You know Jesse, I think some of your best work is in here, I really do” he said excitedly. He’d watched her grow over the couple of years he’d worked with her, and she really did have a talent.

They spent the next couple of hours sorting out the final combinations and making sure everything was perfect for the show.
Jesse looked through the pieces she certainly knew she felt proud of a lot of the work she had done.

She picked up one top that had a long zip down one side of the seam and her conversation that brought Jon’s easy range of clothes idea up replayed in her mind as she let a laugh slip off her lips shaking her head. She’d discarded the idea straight away, but maybe he was right, woman’s clothes did often get too complicated. She couldn’t, could she?

She looked at George who had been watching her and grinned “I have just had a great idea, and I am gonna need your help” a devilish grin creeping onto her lips.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Chapter Fifty Nine

Chapter Fifty Nine

Jon looked down at his watch and noted it was late, long gone were the days where he stayed out all night; he appreciated his bed too much now. Finishing the last conversations with the people he needed to maintain networks with, he scanned the scattering of people that were left in the room when his eyes fell on her.

He watched with an amused smile that played on his lips as she was deep in conversation with Tico and David, Tico was obviously talking about golf as he was doing the actions with his arms, and to her credit she didn’t look like she was about to fall asleep like he usually did when Tico started. He made his way over to her sneaking up behind her and snaking his arms around her waist.

She jumped in surprise as she looked over her shoulder to the michevious gleam he held in his eyes. “Now that’s not nice” she teased as she relaxed into his grip. He nuzzled his nose across the arch of her neck.

“I really want to go home” he whispered in a manner that sent a shiver across her body.

David raised his eyebrow at Jon; he’d known Jon long enough to know what the look he was giving his fiancĂ© meant. “Go on then, get out of her before you make us all sick” he laughed watching Jon start to nibble her neck. Jesse’s blush hit a slight shade of red.

“We just might do that” Jon confirmed as they went to find Richie and Kia and say goodnight. Soon they were arriving safely in the foyer of his apartment. Keys hit table with a clunk and bags and jackets fell to the ground with a thud as he took her in one full scoop and carried her into the apartment and towards the bedroom.

“Jon! I can walk” she teased as yet again he was carrying her as they began to ascend the spiral staircase. His lips replied with no words, just a hint of a smirk was itching at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes remained fixed on hers, with the slight telltale of what was to come.

He laid her down on the bed and lifted her heels off her feet and placed them on the floor with care. His movements were slow and deliberate as he leaned over her on the bed, no words again came as he let his lips fall gently onto hers, teasing her lower lip with his bottom teeth.

She felt her breath catch in her throat as the intensity and slow precision he was using was starting to make her ache. Her hands glided over his shoulders and around to the base of his neck to pull him in making the kiss deeper. She let a soft whimper slip from her throat that vibrated onto his lips. She found the top buttons with ease and worked on them as she slid his shirt half of his shoulders.

Her touch on his skin was enough to almost send him home, he groaned as her hands slithered across the tight muscles in his back. He dipped his head down and nestled his nose across the side of her neck taking in the smooth vanilla scent.

Jon ran his hands down her shoulders, shifting the straps of her dress to fall loosely around her shoulders as he followed them with warm kisses on her skin. He felt her move her leg up and lock around his waist, with his right hand he moved up her leg and onto her thigh just to rest there as they continued to kiss and get lost in what was them.

Her hands splayed across his chest and her thumbs reached out to skim over the tight pink nubs that were nestled in the light sprinkling of fur on his chest which earned her a growl from deep within his throat. His blue eyes remained heavily fixed on hers as she trailed her fingers down further to reach his belt buckle. She hooked her thumbs around inside the waist band of his pants pulling him closer to her, she needed him, and god would she ever not? She hoped not.

Finally she moved her hands inwards and unbuckled his belt and pants pushing them down his hips to reveal the lower toned body that she was only privy to see. She traced a finger down the left side of his V all the way till she settled on his hard shaft that was waiting below. She cupped her hands around the soft skin of his sac letting her finger tips dig in a little.

There was something away the way this woman touched him, he wanted desperately to give up this game of wits and slow love making and drill her into the bed screaming, but the pay off was worth waiting for he decided.
“Jess” he moaned. The first words he’d managed in over twenty minutes of this sweet torture. When her hand shifted to wrap herself around his length he felt his will weakening.

“God Jess, please” he begged as he needed to be against her flesh, too many layers of clothing separated him from the need he so heavily desired.
Shifting her dress he struggled to lift it off her body. The frown on his face made her laugh.

“It has a zip at the back baby” she said as she sat up and he fumbled around till he found the zip and pulled it down.

A knowing smile coasted onto his lips “Tell me why woman’s clothes need to have so many hooks and zips, you need to start designing clothes that need to be able to come off in one go in the moment”

Jesse giggled “Oh right, just for guys, so they can rip them right off woman’s bodies? That what you want?” watching him nod at her suggestion, and then lift the unzipped garment off her body.

“Perfect, you can call it Easy Access, the first sexing a hurry collection from Jesse Adams” his eyes wondered over her body, noting the very lacy see through bra, that needed to go.

Jesse snorted “You so did not just suggest that, Easy Access? Good lord” she let a laugh rip from her throat as she just could imagine what the fashion world would think of that.

“You most welcome, since I thought of this wonderful idea, I want a cut of the profit” he grinned wiggling his eyebrows.

She swatted him lightly with her hand “Stop it, you’re crazy” she grabbed onto his hands as she rolled him over to the other side of the bed with a giggle settling herself nicely straddled across his hips.

“Now you just listen here Mr Bongiovi” she said trying to keep a serious look on her face without much success. He’d moved his hands to snake around her waist and clasped his hands together so they rested on her lower back and now held her tightly in position.

He watched her trying to keep a straight face and laughed, her once styled and neat hairstyle of the night was now becoming a tousle of waves around her cheeks. She was a vision, that was for sure, her face was already flushed and her pink lips already swollen on a night that promised more. And she was his.

The laughter and teases soon died down and the passion that was ignited moments ago seeped slowly back in. Jesse leaned down and whispered across his lips.
“Let me love you, like you always love me” she shifted down slightly and pulled his pants further down. He stayed silent and nodded slipping her scrap of black lace off her body. She lifted herself onto him and let him slide deep into her. “God Jon” she muttered

She arched back when his hands found her breasts and caressed them with his calloused fingers. Not happy with the level of access he pulled her towards him so his mouth could find access to her taut nipples as he licked and sucked them between his teeth tenderly.

Her breathing began to hitch in her throat as the sensation ripped across her body, his thumb found her nub between her thighs that was still resting against his cock without any motions. Flicking the tight skin he felt her jolt above him, and her cries began to grow louder.

“Jesse, please” his controlling nature was beginning to ooze back in; he needed to take back the reins on the situation. In one quick tumble he had her on her back again.

She gulped when he slammed into her gripping her wrists on the bed at shoulder level. He began to roll his hips and seated himself further inside her. His mouth just inches away from her as he continued his drive demanding more from her body.

“Jon... God... more... please...” she whimpered as she watched the fire in his eyes burn right into hers keeping the emotion raw and unbounded between them. She closed her eyes as she concentrated on the places he was hitting and the pleasure that began to build between them.

Strangled Sobs filled the room as both of their releases came leaving them both breathless holding clinging to each other. Jon pulled the covers up around them as the thought of sleep soon played on their minds after a long day. He rolled and curled himself around her back holding her left hand, his finger lightly skimming around the band of her engagement ring.

She felt his contented sigh tickle her shoulder as she reached up and stroked his hair before snuggling further down into the covers. When she felt him play with her ring she smiled and closed her eyes. This was bliss. Pure unadulterated Bliss.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Chapter Fifty Eight

Jesse was escorted backstage to where she was shown a door by the security guard that was Jon’s dressing room. Her mind was still reeling, and her cheeks still felt flush from the song, a nervous energy was rippling through her, what she could say to him. Thank you? God she was a mess, pull you together Jess she told herself as she knocked on the door.
There was no answer as she tried the door and it opened leading her into a darkened room that was illuminated by only the soft light of tea light candles that were dotted around the room.

“Jon?” she asked the seemingly empty room as she walked in and closed the door behind her.

“Right here baby” she turned and saw him, the soft glow of flame dancing off the tanned pallor of his skin, and his eyes shined through the darkness into her heart. Lord he looked amazing.

“Jon what is all this?” Jesse asked as he came closer to her and took her hands in his. She could smell his cologne along with freshly showered man; she couldn’t help think how quick he’d been.

“Jess, I know you’ve been through a lot, and we’ve both been hurt in different ways, but one thing I have learnt from meeting you, is life is too short, I know it’s only been months baby but” Jesse’s eyes widened and her heart caught her in throat as he fell to one knee, holding a small open black velvet box that bore a very generous looking diamond ring.

Good god he was proposing? This had come out of left field, yes they were close, and yes she loved him more than probably anything she had loved before… even Jason? Hell. She steadied herself as she was sure she was about to faint. His eyes held so much promise, so much love and so much safety.

“How about it Jersey Girl, will you marry me?”
Jon Bon Jovi never got nervous, even on stage at the biggest gigs he’d done Wembley, Giants, nothing was even a close comparison to the nerves that shot through his body at this moment. He tried to read her, get a hint of what was thinking, her eyes firmly on his as they slowly started to lace over with tears, then he saw it, her head motioned forward and up again. She was nodding.

“Yes” she managed to croak out as the feelings bubbled inside her threatened to hit the surface. Then she saw it, a forty something year old man, filled with the joys of life, his eyes misting over with the same emotion as hers. He shakily picked the ring out of the box and held her left hand and slid the ring onto her hand with ease. He slowly rose from the ground, never for a second taking his eyes off hers.

“Yes” she managed again before his mouth came crashing down on hers, both of them succumbing to the power in their bodies as she reached up for him, her fingers tickling the little cuffs of hair at the base of his neck. Pulling him towards her desperately to deepen the kiss and Jon equally responding taking her face between his hands. What seemed like minutes but was only seconds, when they pulled away just an inch apart, his lips just whispering across hers.

“Jesse Adams, you have just made me the damn happiest man alive” she watched as his smile broadened reaching his eyes, he lifted her in his arms and twirled her around before placing her back down on the ground. She squealed at first and then laughed as she leant into his chest holding on tightly.

She’d agreed to marry him, she don’t know what inside her said yes so quickly but it felt right, it just did. This man was truly amazing, she’s seen all the sides to him, Dad, Front man, Lover, Friend, and now he was all hers.

“I love you Jon, and what you did tonight, man. No one has ever done that for me, nothing even close.” She admitted.

“Well get used to it baby because I make you a promise of a lifetime of such surprises, my Jersey Girl” his soft hands brushing back strands of her hair. He sealed his promise with a kiss to the top of her head.

Her hands slid in beneath the warm exterior of the battered leather jacket he was wearing as she let her palms slide over the smooth contours of his back. He held her against his body as he rocked her quietly. Relief flooded his mind as he closed her eyes enjoying their closeness letting the sheer emotion of the moment set in their hearts.

She finally pulled away and met his gaze, tracing her finger around the laugh lines on his face she smiled “I love you baby” was all she could muster.

He chuckled “I love you too Jess, I always will” he took her hand and placed it to his lips.
“I hate to be a mood killer but I need to socialise with these rich people out in the after function, so what do you say we scoot on in there and have a few celebratory drinks” he suggested. He had to keep up appearances, unfortunately that came with the territory.

She nodded as she understood and followed him back out to the venue and across to the ballroom where the party was being help. As they sifted through the sea of people, Jon greeted, chatted, and introduced Jesse all the way, as his fiancé. Jesse noted the surprised looks on some of the faces, but generally they all just politely congratulated then both and made small talk about her career.

Finally spying some familiar faces in the crowd Richie and Kia came across to them, Kia wore a grin as wide as a Cheshire cat as she hung off Richie’s arm. When she saw Jesse and how closely she was holding onto Jon she shook her head and broke free from Richie’s grasp, seeing the small tears in Jesse’s eyes they both embraced, words weren’t needed to explain.

“I’m so happy for you Jesse, I really am, I thought this day would never come for you, and I’m so glad it did honey” she held her best friend before they broke as a serious scowl came across her face.

“But I’m in no way happy you’re going to beat me to isle twice now, that’s just not fair” she teased as she picked her hand up to admire the ring now gracing her finger.

“Mercy!” she exclaimed at the size of it, he’d done well, Jesus Christ it was a rock.

Jesse chortled “It’s gorgeous huh” she admired it once more not really believing it. The simplicity of the single diamond held so much more.

Jon and Richie watched with amusement as the two women discuss and analyse the ring. Richie handed Jon a beer “Well Frank, congrats man, I’m stoked for ya, you deserve this after a rough year” he clinked his own against Jon’s and pulled it towards his throat.

“Thanks Dean, yeah, I’m pretty happy I must admit” he replied watching her eyes light up as she laughed with Kia.

“How do you think your mom will take it?” Richie asked knowing that she wasn’t too fussed on the whole idea that he’d started dating again after Dot after the party the other day.

Jon cringed a little. “Yeah, kinda not looking forward to that conversation, and the kids, I mean, I know they just got to know her to, so its going to come as a shock, but its not as if we will be marrying tomorrow” Jon knew that would be a difficult conversation to have with his parents. But in the end, there was a time he had to stop worrying what everyone thought and concentrate on just what him and Jesse wanted.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Chapter Fifty Seven

That evening as promised, Jon delivered her Chicken Soup and a good dose of TLC, they both watched mindless TV for a couple of hours, and talked about their days, till Jon felt her growing heavier against his chest. He looked down and saw she had fallen asleep, her breathing becoming slightly raspy from the cold. He smiled as he watched her chest rise and fall, not really believing that tomorrow he would be asking her to marry him.

It was getting late so he decided to shift her to her bed as he carried her in his arms, she didn’t stir once. He wrapped her up in bed and decided that he should leave her to sleep peacefully alone. After watching her for a few minutes and musing with her hair a little, he left a note for her, and slipped out the door.

The next morning Jesse awoke feeling slightly better than she had that night, of course this was more than likely due to the fussing that Jon laid on her once he’d arrived at her place. Rolling over to find the other side of the bed empty she spied a note that simply read.

Morning gorgeous,

You were out like a light last night, so I was a good boyfriend and left you to sleep off the cold... I need you in top shape for tonight. I’ve got a full day planned with meetings and sound checks, but I will see you during the concert, here’s your passes.

See you then baby,

She smiled clutching the note and passes to her chest before staggering out of bed to start her day. She had to put all the final touches on the pieces for the show tomorrow night so her and George had a busy day ahead of them.

Finally the end of the day rolled around, after a few minor issues and freak outs she was finally set. Leaving work she drove home like a maniac so she could make sure that she could have a shower and be ready for when Kia picked her up. She showered using the shower gel that Jon had brought over last night, leaving a subtle vanilla scent on her skin, she dried off and rifled through the racks of her clothes.
God it’s just a concert Jess, no reason to flip out she chuckled to herself as she ended up choosing a low cut, red dress similar to the one that Jon had first ever seen her in, but admittedly this one was one of her racier dresses, as she slipped on matching stiletto heels and slipped on a black dress jacket.

Deciding to throw her hair up in a bunch on her head with bobby pins, she let loose strands fall down her face. Once the make up was done with subtle darker colors to her eyes and rouge to her cheeks, she was ready.

Right on time Kia was at the door, her eyes widened when she took in Jesse.
“Holy shit woman, trying to kill someone tonight are we?” she asked indicating a spin with her hand.

“Is it too much?” Jesse asked as she did so.

“No, you look amazing, Jon’s going to forget his words or something, I know it” she teased.

“Well you’re not exactly going to go unnoticed to a certain dark guitarist” Jesses said admiring Kia’s teal slip dress, she always had such a simple taste, and that only she made look incredible in her slender form.

“Why thank you, it’s the plan” she winked. “Now come on, I don’t wanna be late, free alcohol two very sexy men, and great music, what really could be better” Kia grinned as she escorted Jesse out the door.

An hour later they were both seated in a booth, just to the right of the centre of the stage, a VIP area had been set up with a mini bar that wealthy beneficiaries could partake in it.

She rubbed her palms together that had began to bead with sweat, she had no idea why she was nervous, she was more curious and excited to see what Jon did, up close and personal. She knew everything else about him, and now it was time for this, the thing that made him who he really was.

As the lights dimmed and the crowd started to roar, the stage lights burst into life as the band took the stage. Jon stood right in front of her, that million dollar smile lighting the whole room as he introduced the band and thanked everyone for coming to support the concert, then they ripped straight into It’s my life.

Jesse watched in awe as the man she just knew as Jon, came to life in front of her, crooning, dancing and smiling his way across the stage and enjoying every minute of it. She watched the way he drew in the crowd with every lyric, every note drawing each person in one by one.

His eyes feel to her, as he prepared for the next song. Flashing her kind of smile he only reserved for her, he took her in. Sweet lord, she was beautiful, her brown eyes intoxicating and her lips held in a tight smile that puckered when she saw him. He winked and carried on into the next hit as the songs started to roll out of him.

Jesse turned to watch Kia, who she swore was having eye sex with Richie in the glances they were both shooting each other, as she watched her cross her legs revealing silken calves, Jesse bit back a laugh as she watched Richie’s eyes widen.
“You are just a hussy” she whispered.

“Learn from me darling, you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand in no time” she smirked as her gaze stayed firmly on the Stetson clad man.

As the concert came to a close, Jesse was having the time of her life, the energy rushing through her as Jon knew how to enthral a crowd and make them be part of the show, as they all had sung the chorus of Living on a Prayer, Shot through the heart and Bad Medicine, as they stood on their feet clapping and cheering Jesse was filled with pride, this is what he did, and god damn if he didn’t do it well.

Richie tilted his hat at the girls and grinned one of those famous Sambora charms, as Jon grabbed a stool and his black acoustic guitar as they rest of the guys left the stage. Jesse couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little nervous as he sat down and adjusted the microphone.

Jon watched his band mates leave the stage to leave him for his moment, he’d originally decided to do this song with the band, but then they all decided that acoustic had much more effect. He leaned forward and started to speak and thank everyone for their continued support in the foundation, and also thanking various people. It was now or never as his gaze fell on the woman that had given him new hope, and love again, and a new lease of life once more.

“I’d like to close the show tonight with a song that’s not a traditional Bon Jovi song, but I wanted to play it for someone, that has come to mean so much to me in the last few months, someone that makes me want to get out of bed every day and be the best man that I can possibly be, so baby, you know who you are, this is for you”

Jesse’s heart pounded loudly in her chest as his bright blue eyes shined down at her with a small grin he began to strum and lose himself in the song he began to play.

I got no time for the corner boys
Down in the street making all that noise
Or the girls out on the avenue
'Cause tonight I wanna be with you
Tonight I'm gonna take that ride
Across the river to the Jersey side
Take my baby to the carnival
And I'll take her on all the rides

'Cause down the shore everything's all right
You and your baby on a Saturday night
You know all my dreams come true
When I'm walking down the street with you

Sha la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la I'm in love with a Jersey girl

You know she thrills me with all her charms
When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms
My little girl gives me everything
I know that some day she'll wear my ring
So don't bother me man I ain't got no time
I'm on my way to see that girl of mine
'Cause nothing matters in this whole wide world
When you're in love with a Jersey girl

Sha la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la I'm in love with a Jersey girl

Jesse watched stunned, watched as he sang each word as his blue eyes remained fixed on hers, the whole world seemed to disappear apart from the kindred man playing the guitar in front of her, stripped and bleeding his heart out in front of her. Never in her life had she expected this, never.
Tears slid down her face as she managed a small smile back to him, along with an “Oh no you didn’t” look that grew into a teasing smile on her lips.

As the song drew to an end and the crowd cheered unaware that she was the one that song was about. A security guard came over to them.
“Um excuse me Jesse Adams? Mr Bongiovi has requested your presence in his dressing room” a tall figure appeared in front of them.

Kia smiled “Well I guess I will see you at the after party then” she winked, she knew exactly what Jon had planned.

**Jersey Girl

Friday, June 13, 2008

Chapter Fifty Six

Monday soon dawned upon them both; Jesse was back sitting at her desk going through the pieces that she needed in the fall release for Wednesday night, and Jon had gone to start numerous meetings and preparations for the concert tomorrow night that was being held in New York. Bon Jovi was headlining a few acts for a concert to raise money for Habitat for Humanity, a charity that him and Richie both supported, so when the question came for them to perform there was no hesitation.

Her head felt like it was going to explode, it had tight and heavy all day, she knew her escapade on the beach the day before had probably caught herself a cold, just as she ripped out a sneeze her assistant George came in.

“Whoa, honey, look at you all red and puffier than Cher after her last plastic surgery” he commented as he scurried into the room and handed her the box of tissues from the far end of her desk. She took one and blew her nose.

“Thanks George, stupid cold, just when I don’t need to get one” she cursed throwing the used tissues in the trash. Serves me right she thought, Sex on the beach, what am I now a hussy? She laughed out loud to herself.

George raised his eyebrow and perched on the corner on her desk as he rifled through the clothes she had chosen for the companies launch.
“Okay honey, spill” he teased, the grin on his face teased her.

“Spill what?” she asked innocently. She never usually discussed her private life at work and certainly hadn’t since Jason had died.

“Oh come on, you’ve been delirious for weeks, I can tell these things you know, you’re in loveeee” he teased. It was about time as well, as talented and gorgeous as Jesse was she certainly had been well overdue for some happiness in her life.

She blushed “Ok, got me, you’ve probably heard that I’m dating again” knowing that the people in her office could never keep quiet about anything.

“Oh I have heard, and who...” he laughed. Jesse cringed as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Really? Are people being nice? Or awful” she asked, she never really cared what her co workers thought of her, she more interested in how her work fared more than anything. She sat back and twirled her hair in her pen.

“They’re just jealous, he is cute after all” George said as he laid the pieces out on the chair in her office.

She sniffled a little as she caught a sneeze “Well he’s a very good man; you’ll meet him Wednesday night, as I’m bringing him along.” She hoped people behaved themselves especially when this was one of the biggest nights of the year and potential buyers would be scouring the talent.

“I look forward to it, it’s about time Jesse darling, I mean it” George smiled as he straightened his jet black Armani suit and flicked his hair aside that always was styled just to cover his left eye, but Jesse never knew why as he always spent most of the day brushing it aside.

She laughed and was grateful in his confidence and support as the both continued to sort out all they needed to for Wednesday, after he’d brought them fresh coffee in around two, the phone rang in her office. George leaned over and picked it up.
“Ms Adam’s office” he said shrewdly.

He smiled as his voice changed “Why yes Jon, she’s right here let me just put you through” he winked at Jesse as he handed the phone to her and took away the coffee cups.

She shook her head at the gestures he made leaving the room as she placed the handset to her ear.
“Hey you” she croaked as her voice broke.

“Hey yourself, god you sound awful, are you ok babe?” his voice full of concern.

“Gee thanks, I’m fine just a –“a sneeze ripped through her as she sighed and sank back into her chair, her head feeling hazy. “Just a cold, I think” she looked around her office and lowered her voice as she propped her feet on the desk “I’m thinking it’s my karma for being a beach hussy” she chuckled.

Jon snorted lightly “Aw Jess, you poor thing. You should go home and rest, I need you in top shape for tomorrow night, you and Kia have a big night ahead, and then we have your launch on Wednesday”.

“I know! George and I have sorted most of the things I need to do for Wednesday and there is still tomorrow so I guess I could head home” she pondered.

“I’ve got a few more things to do uptown but how about I bring you over some Chicken soup or something tonight, I can’t have you sick for tomorrow you know”” his voice held that teasing tone, where Jesse could imagine exactly the type of smirk that accompanied it, the type that curled the corner of his lips.

“Jon you don’t have to do that, I know you’re busy, but that would be nice” she sneezed again and quickly wiped her nose. “God, damn ok, soup would be great” she admitted.

“Good now go home” he teased as they both hung up. Jon leaned back in the chair he was in stretching in, hoping she was going be ok. The plans for the concert had been coming along nicely. His gaze flicked back to Richie who was walking back to the table with two beers, they’d decided to have a drink after the organizing had been done.

“Here you go Frank” he said shifting the cool bottle in Jon’s direction.

“Cheers Dean” Jon took a long pull from the drink before speaking.

“I’m asking Jesse to marry me” Jon simply said. Richie’s eyebrows winged to his hairline.

“Seriously? Shit, I mean I know you’re crazy about her but marriage so soon, after everything that happened with Dot?” Richie asked. He had to admit that he liked Jesse a hell of lot more than Dot, she was different, and he could see Jon loved her deeply.

“I know its soon, but hell, we’ve both done this before you know, its not like we don’t know what we’re in for, life’s too short man...” his mind wondered off to Jason, life was too short, and there wasn’t any way he was risking standing around with Jesse just waiting for life to happen.

Richie nodded; he knew the serious determined look in his best friend’s gaze too well by now, his mind was made up.
“Well fuck, that’s great news, you know I love her, and I know you do, but do you think she’s ready, after all she’s been through” Richie asked just hoping he wasn’t setting himself up for a fall.

Jon nodded “I know Dean; I think she might be hesitant, but honestly I think she’s ready to move on, well I hope so” She had to be.

“And what about the kids, and your mom?” Richie chuckled having heard all about the party.

“Yeah, I know mom probably won’t be too impressed but she will deal, she has to” Jon nodded. He knew that Steph would be probably be ok, and the other kids would grow to her in time, he needed also to give Dot the respect to tell her as well. As for his mom, well he knew she wasn’t fond that he’s certainly moved on from his life with Dot but he’d deal with all she could dish him.

“Well, Frank, you know I’ll support whatever you do, you’ve done the same for me for so long, so congratulations, its sure as shit good to see you so happy again” he laughed as they clinked their drinks.

“Thanks man, there is something I do need your help with, and its about tomorrow night, I have a little plan” he smiled, he’d been thinking about this all week, and tomorrow was the perfect time to do this. He discussed the idea with Richie.

“Shit, I love it, that’s perfect Frank, you know and that can be arranged very easily, we’ll work on it, and get the others involved” Richie confirmed.

“Thanks Rich, I just want it to be perfect it’s all she deserves” Jon grinned, he was really going to do this, fuck. He had a feeling she would kill him for the surprise element, but it had to be done, he just hoped in the end she’d say yes as honestly now. He couldn’t see his life without her.

Richie checked his cell phone and smirked at obviously a message he’s received.

“Kia I presume?” Jon mused watching Richie punch something back into his phone.

Richie’s eyebrows wiggled “Uh huh, she’s just being naughty, you know how much I like naughty” he teased.

“Oh god, yes I do man. So you like her a lot?” Jon asked watching Richie’s face grin to what he was replying back.

“I sure do, she’s got this fire about her, she’s hilarious, and but she’s sweet as well, and now that I mention it she’s good in”

Jon held up his hand in protest “Hey now, I don’t need to know those things, we’re not 25 anymore bro” Jon laughed and rolled his eyes, something’s never changed, and one of those things was King and his women.

“Right I’ve got to go, shopping to do” Jon winked as he stood up and pulled his leather jacket back on and slipped on his sunglasses. Richie followed him uptown where Jon ended up choosing a solitaire diamond for Jesse, set on a white gold band, it was perfect. He just had to confirm the ring size now, and Richie had been entrusted with that task with Kia. As he sat back in his car and sighed watching the New York whizzing past. His lips twitched with a smile, This was it, this was well and truly it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Chapter Fifty Five

Jon’s face fell “Now come on, you don’t mean that” he watched as she didn’t meet his gaze. She looked like she did the first time she started to doubt their relationship, her eyes filled with worry and that confidence lost.

Jesse stirred her coffee, she was so angry at Jon, after all this time, all their talks, he still felt like she was holding onto Jason, she had told him and proved to him she let go so why would he think that. This was the same augment that had kept coming up time and time again, the little niggling in her own mind. Because she felt his unrest, she had again started to doubt herself. They had come so far, through Jason’s parents, his parents, and his wife his kids. It hadn’t all been smooth but they’d survived it all so far.

After she didn’t speak Jon went to pick up his keys, and realized he couldn’t leave, he had a towel on, and his clothes were in the laundry.
“I can’t leave Jesse; I’m not driving home in a towel”

She looked at him and managed a small grin “I suppose that’s fair” she poured him another coffee and handed it to him, and well as motioning him to the robe that was on the table.

He quickly pulled the forest green terry towel robe on and sat down on the chair in the living room. He watched her as she put the box of photos back into the closest and joined him on the couch.

“I’m sorry” she began. This was such a mess. Why she couldn’t just let go, once and for all, she didn’t know. She was over it.

He tucked a strand of her wet hair behind her ear. “Don’t be, this is an unusual situation for both of us right, the main thing we’ve got to remember here is that we both love each other right?” he asked.

She nodded “Of course, I just don’t want you feeling like you have to protect me, I know you meant well...” she trailed off watching him lean back into the cushions.

“It was the wrong thing to do, I know it was Jesse. I just” Jon took a deep breath, he had to be open, completely honest with her and his feelings on this.

“What is it? You can tell me Jon?” she prompted feeling like he was holding back as she

His hand fiddled with the mug in his hands before he spoke. “Don’t hate me for this, but I just sometimes feel so inferior to Jason. And by that I mean that I don’t know if I will ever live up or compare to him” his eyes shot up to meet hers.

Jesse’s eyebrow raised, she never expected or even thought that Jon would feel this way, especially Jon being who he was.
“Why do you feel like that? You shouldn’t” Jesse spoke softly.

“Jess, the man was your husband, who you are very still much in love with, he died for his country, everything here is a constant reminder to that” he took a long sip of his coffee. “How can I compete to that?” he asked quietly.

Jesse’s eyes widened as he had been completely brutally honest with her. She nodded, he was right in a way, and she could see it how, he’d feel that way.
“I had no idea you felt that way” she replied. “Jon, you don’t have to feel that way, Jason is dead, and he’s not coming back. You don’t have to compete”.

“I know its stupid, but its just how I feel, I never expect that you would compare us, but he left you when you were in love, its different for me, I fell out of love and Dot and I moved on” his hand raked though his hair as he let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry for feeling like that and I wish I didn’t” he admitted.

She placed her cup down and took his hand. “Jon, it’s ok, I never thought to think you could feel this way, but it makes sense in a way, it can't be easy” she looked out the window as the sun was just beginning to set. She needed a way to how him he didn't need to compete for her love anymore.

“Wanna go for a quick drive? I want to show you something” she said as she got up to go and get dressed.

He was about to ask what he’d wear when she handed him his soul t-shirt and a pair of jeans, presumably Jason’s.
He nodded and threw on the clothes and soon they were in her car heading somewhere that he had no idea. He didn’t question her as soon enough it was answered as they pulled into the cemetery.

“What are we doing here?” he asked quietly as he watched her get out of the car.

“Closure” she replied as she waited for him to join her. Ribbons of pink and red stretched high in the sky above them as she took his hand and led him to his gravesite.

Jon was quiet watching her respectfully as she leaned down to straighten the flowers that had obviously been recently placed on the marble grave.

“Jason honey, I’ve brought someone for you to meet. This is Jon” she motioned towards him, not expecting him to say anything as she didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.

“He’s come into my life, and he’s a wonderful wonderful man, and is looking after me in a way that you would be proud, you really would” she said dusting the dirt away. She bit back tears as the next part came out of her.

“You know I will always miss you baby, but I have to let go sometime, you always said that as well. I will never forget, I promise you, never. And I will cherish all the years that we had together, you were so good to me, and I miss you so much. But now I’ve been lucky enough to find a man just as good as you. He’s so different but I love him very much, and its time for me to move on with him” she stood up as she pulled the dead flowers away and left Jon standing at the grave by himself as she walked to the trash.

The tears that threatened his eyes he pulled back as he spoke, he hadn’t intended to but it just came out.
“Jason, I promise you with everything I am, I will look after her, and I will do my best as we both know she deserves it and more. She’s a special lady and I’m very blessed I got to know her, so thank you” his feet shifted in the dirt as he looked up directly at the headstone. “And Jason, if it’s ok with you, I would like to ask her to marry me” as he did a warm breeze tickled through his hair, as Jesse came back.

“You ok?” she asked him noticing the glassy look in his blue eyes.

He smiled and nodded pulling her in close to him.
“You didn’t have to do this, you know. But thank you” he pressed a light kiss on the top of her head.

Her arms snaked around his waist as she buried her head into his chest. “I love you Jon, you got to know that right” she asked looking up to meet his gaze.

He nodded “I do, and I promise, I won’t ever doubt you again” they met in a long kiss as the night sky settled in. They strolled back to the car slowly. Jon deep in thought about his revelation to himself, he wanted to ask her to marry him, a smile broke over his face. He knew exactly how to do it as the thought came to him.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Chapter Fifty Four

Their gentle touches and soft kisses took them both through as she lost herself completely in the man that was lavishing his love on her right now. Time stood still, and cautions didn’t matter, this was their moment.

Jon’s lips raked down her neck in desperate hunger as he continued to roll into her, pulling whimpers and muffled gasps from her each time we came back out and went back in.

“Jess, god baby….” His desperation grew louder and his movements faster as he gave into the much needed release he was after. Her body arched against his, their salty sandy bodies against one another as they both climaxed in time.

She lay limp against his shoulder fighting for her breath, as the glow of their lovemaking faded the chill from the water started to make her shiver. Feeling her begin to tremble in his arms he rubbed her back gently. “It’s ok” he whispered.

She pulled back meeting his contented ocean blue gaze “I got to tell you, this is the craziest thing I have ever done” she whispered against his cheek. Here she was on a beach in the wide open spaces, naked. She realized how dangerous this was for him, if anyone saw, or worse had a camera.

He snorted “I lose control around you Jess, I can’t help it, I forget who I am, or where we are” he tucked her sand laden hair behind her ear. And it was true, years of being so careful in the public eye. Always so aware of his surroundings, and in control of his situation, she brought something to him he hadn’t felt in a long time. Freedom.

She smiled “Well that’s a good thing kind of right? You’re so used to being recognised and such?” still in his grasp she reached and pulled her t-shirt back over her head and stuff her bra in her jeans pocket. “I mean, to me, you’re just Jon, always will be. That’s all I know”.

She was right, she had had a small taste to his life in the real world in Nashville, but she hadn’t really experienced Jon Bon Jovi as such just yet. “Well the concert next week will be an eye opener for you” he teased as he watched her button up his shirt for him. He wondered how she would take his stage persona, as really it wasn’t much different except for the fact he was flirting and charming an audience of thousands, not just her.

“I can’t wait to see you in action, I mean, I’ve seen the videos and the clips, but seeing it live, I’m sure it can’t compare” she pulled him up out of the sandy cradle they had both been in as they readjusted themselves.

“And well I can’t wait to see you in your element either” Jon said referring to her launch of her collection that was next week as well. It was to be a big week for both of them, and they would both learn a little more about each others lives before each other.

Jesse smiled graciously, she was looking forward to having him there with her, she looked down at her jeans that clung to her body, damp and heavy they felt like rough sandpaper against her legs.

“Well now I can’t wait to get home showered and changed” she giggled as she watched him try and start to walk realizing that he had the same issues with his own jeans.

“Sex on the beach is so messy” he groaned as he took her hand as they began to walk back to the car.

Soon enough they both were back at Jesse’s apartment, offering Jon the shower first she threw all their clothes into the laundry and turned on the machine, wrapping herself in a towel she knew Jon would need something to wear until his clothes were dry, she had bought Jason a robe for when he would return from overseas but obviously it never was given or worn, she rummaged through the cupboard where she stored it and came across a box covered in an old sheet. This was odd; she couldn’t remember placing this here. She pulled it out and found the framed pictures of her and Jason inside the box that she recognized belonged to his parents.
What the hell? How did these get in here?

Every single picture that they had, or she had given them over the years was in here. She felt angry tears spring to her eyes.

She placed the box on the table and found the robe she had been looking for, just as her gaze met Jon emerging from down the stairs in a towel slung low on his hips.

He immediately saw her pained face and hurried over to her, spying the box on the table.
“You found them” he said as he tried to pull her into his embrace.
It had completely slipped his mind to tell her about this.

Jesse pulled away and looked him “When did they turn up and why did you hide them?” it had to be him as no one had been here, they didn’t have keys to her place anymore.

He cringed as her tone told him that she wasn’t too pleased with him. “Jesse, they were on the doorstep the morning after they arrived here that night... I just didn’t want you to see them baby... you were so upset. And I didn’t want you to feel more guilty than you already did” he tried to comfort her by drawing her into him but she pulled away.

“You should have told me Jon, I could have handled it, and I’m not some basket case that needs protecting” she snapped.

“Hey, I never said that you were Jess, I just didn’t think you needed to see it after all that had happened, I was going to tell you, but honestly it slipped my mind with everything that’s been going on” he admitted as he rang his hand through his hair.

He watched as she slammed the box down onto the floor and stormed off to the shower slamming the door to the bathroom door behind her. He sighed and decided to make a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch. He knew he stuffed up but hell, he’d only done it for her, his heart had broken when he saw how his parents had made her feel, like scum for getting on with her life.

Jesse furiously applied the shampoo to her hair and scrubbed the sand out of it. How could he do this? Did he really not trust her enough to handle it? He’d been more than supportive through everything up until now so why that would have been any different, she had no idea. She turned the shower off and dried herself off, changing into fresh clothes. Taking deep breath she walked back downstairs half expecting Jon not to be there, but he was, sitting on the couch sipping his coffee deep in thought.

He looked up at her as she came back in the room, refusing to meet his gaze she walked into the kitchen. So she was going to ignore him. He pulled himself up and followed her in.

“Look I’m sorry baby, I did a dumb thing” he said as he watched her look through the fridge and then slam the door shut.

“Yes you did” she wasn’t angry anymore than he’d hid them, she was madder at the fact that he didn’t trust her enough to handle it and had made that decision for her.

“Come on Jess, please. What was I meant to do… this keeps coming back up... Time and time again, I just don’t know how to deal with it sometimes”

She placed the milk down on the counter and looked at him and raised her eyebrow “What exactly keeps coming up? The fact I have a dead husband? The fact that I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing? That I am unsure?” Jon noted her sarcastic tone.

Shit. “Jesse, that’s not what I meant, this is hard for me too you know… I know you’re still grieving and I never wanted to push you into this, but I worry that I’m doing that, and I worry that all the stuff with his parents will just have you doubting you more… I don’t want to lose you Jess” he said honestly, he’d ever expected this at all from their relationship but as the time had gone on, he knew he wanted this forever. But he was shit scared that she wouldn’t feel the same way, He knew she loved him, but a small part of him doubted that it was as much as he loved her.

Jesse saw red, now he doubted everything she felt for him, after everything that they had been through, all her admissions and feelings for him. He doubted. Instead of seeing the way he felt inferior to Jason, she only saw his doubt.

“I want you leave” she said quietly as she stirred her coffee.