Chapter Sixty Four

Jesse stared at Jon he was just going to leave? She could see the defeated look on his face and this wasn’t her Jon at all. She knew this had to be hard on him to leave but she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to. The talk with Jason had to happen, even though she was sure he had an idea of what was at play here, she had to talk to him and hear him out properly.

“I’ll walk you out” she didn’t wait for him to refuse. The clicks of her heels echoed in the night as she pounded her heels into the concrete till she reached the street. Tears began to stream down her face while she waited for him to come out of the complex behind her.

“Jess…” he called until he saw her, it ripped his heart out to see her like this. He couldn’t even imagine what this had to feel like for her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb.

The sobs she had been trying to bite back all night hit her hard as she clung to him in the darkness and let go. How did this happen? She was supposed to be happy her husband wasn’t dead and she was, she truly was but she wasn’t anywhere as near elated as she should have been.

Jon wrapped his arms around her and ran his hand lazily over her lower back. “Shh baby, this has to be one hell of a shock for you, I know it is for even me” he admitted letting out a soft sigh.

She looked up at him with tear stained cheeks that shone in the street lights. “I don’t want you to go” she whispered “Don’t walk out on me” she begged fearful he’d never come back.

He shook his head “Jess, god I would never... I just want to give you time to talk to him, I get the feeling he’s not comfortable with me there and I understand that, it must be hard for him too to see you with someone else” he said understandingly. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms right around her holding her closer to his body.

Rubbing her back harder and with a confident tone he spoke “I’m not walking out on you, I love you, but I need to let you take all this in, I’m not stupid this could really change things Jess, but lets take it slow and work through it” he suggested. It was honestly the last thing he wanted but he couldn’t pressure her, and didn’t feel right making her promise she wouldn’t leave him for Jason. It just didn’t. It was taking every part of him to make his feet walk to leave her there tonight.

Jesse stayed in his arms for a couple of moments while she processed what he’d just said. God, he really thought she was possibly going to go back to Jason. She sighed. She knew she couldn’t promise anything to him right now until she had sorted out everything. Her heart was aching for two men right now, both who she couldn’t imagine not having in her life by choice.

She looked up to meet his azure gaze where she could see the pain he was trying to hide. “Can I come around later after I’m done talking, I just don’t think I can stay here” she quietly said.

He stroked her hair back from her face. Placing his palms on the softness of her cheeks he managed a small smile. “Of course you can, you know you’re welcome at my place anytime baby, you just call me when you get there and I’ll let you in, I’m here for you, anything I can do, I will be waiting” he soothed gently as he ran his finger down her cheek to rest on her chin. Her eyes still held so much pain and fear, he felt like an asshole for leaving her but it had to be done, she needed to talk to her husband without him there. It was the decent thing for a man to do.

Jesse buried her head into his chest taking in his scent one more time while he called a taxi on his cell phone. She didn’t want to go and wasn’t looking forward to facing what awaited her inside. Part of her wanted to jump in the taxi with Jon and just escape into the night but the other part knew she had to stay.

The taxi arrived in record time, Jon felt Jesse grip him tighter. Shit, maybe he should stay with her and just make sure she would be ok, he was sure he was doing the right thing leaving her. He didn’t want her to be influenced by him on anything she said to Jason and he had the right to talk to his wife in private.

“Baby, I need to go, but you know where I am right, just come ok?” he tilted her chin to meet her gaze “anytime” he said. He pressed his lips to hers firmly and held her tight one more time as he felt the tears prick at the corner of his eyes. What if this was it, what if he woke up tomorrow and she wanted her husband back?
“I love you” he whispered “I’ll always love you” he said before releasing her and climbing into the taxi without saying another word before he broke.

Jesse watched the taxi disappear desperate not to start running after it. She tried to recompose and took a deep breath as she walked back into the house to face her past that was now her future.

She found Jason looking through her catalogue; he looked up at her when she came back in and smiled “Hey”. God he still smiled exactly the same. He still looked like the same handsome man that had left her all those months ago.

“You like?” she asked as she watched him flip through the glossy brochure.

“These are great, you seem to be still doing well, in more than one way” he added, Jesse knew he meant Jon. The dark look in his eyes told her that.

“Jason, we need to talk” she said as she sat back down on the couch and clasped her hands together on her knees.

Jason sat beside her but kept his distance “How long have you been seeing him?” he asked her. He really didn’t want the details but he had to know what he was dealing with with here.

She sighed “About three months, but it hasn’t been easy, I didn’t want to date anyone, and the way I met Jon was well, it was unexpected, and we clicked” she took a deeper breath “And he has just asked me to marry him a couple of days ago” she said not wanting to look at him.

Jason nodded well he’d already seen the ring so that explained that.
“So you really love him? It wasn’t just that you needed someone?” he asked. He almost regretted the way that it came out. Jesse had never needed someone to love her.

Jesse snapped her eyes up to his gaze. “Because I needed somebody? What sort of comment is that Jason? I love Jon, I love him with all my heart, I didn’t just need him, and how could you say that?” she asked haughtily.

Jason cringed watching that fire in her eyes he knew all too well spark “Jesse that’s not what I mean honey, that’s not what I meant at all” he said. The way she had snapped just confirmed that she really was in love with Jon. He could see it in the way she looked at him, and the way that he’d looked at her. They were in love.

“Well it sounded like it, yes I moved on and don’t you dare make me feel guilty that I did, you were dead Jason, dead... You have no idea what that was like. I had to lock you away somewhere in my heart and move on, it was the only way” she cried. Shit she was a mess, more tears?

He cautiously put his arm around her shoulders, he had hardly touched her since he’d arrived home and it was driving him insane. He was surprised when she didn’t move away so he pulled her in closer as she choked on sobs.
“I missed you so much” he said as he stroked her hair and held her close to his chest.

“I missed you too Jason, I just…” she was so confused, her own chest was so tight with emotion, no one should ever have to be in the position she was in right now. She looked up into familiar warm brown eyes that offered so many memories and comforts. The man she had loved for six years versus the man she’d loved for three months.

“Its ok Jesse, I’m home now” he leaned in and brushed gently against her lips. She closed her eyes stunned and unable to move as she fell into his kiss, her hands moved to the nape of his neck drawing him in closer. This was home, her home. Did she want it back? And did she let the most amazing man she had met walk away from her? She was confused without a way out to not hurt one of them.