Chapter Seventy Two

He kept her hands in his pinned to the ground as he raised his hips higher only to slam into her harder. The more he drove into her the more he needed her. He felt her move beneath him, and knew she wanted to move to the bedroom but it wasn’t going to happen he needed to cum and he needed to right here and right now. A loud cry left her lips and her eyes slammed shut as he felt her body tremble violently under his. In turn his own release came quickly spilling his heat deep inside her.

His body slicked with sweat slumped over hers in the briefest of moments before she managed to utter a word when her brain had settled from the orgasm that had just exploded within her. “Bed, we need a bed”.

He pulled back and brushed her sweaty strands of hair that were stuck around her face. “You’re not going anywhere” he growled letting his teeth scraping over the arch of her neck reviving the lust inside him all over again.

“God Jon, no please, we need to move…” desperate to shift them to a comfortable setting of a bed. But the storm brewing in his eyes told her that he wasn’t done. She moved to scramble from his grasp to try and make the first step towards the bedroom but his hands just moved to her wrists gripping them harder. She saw then the wildness seeping into those deep blue eyes. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest not knowing whether she should be scared or turned on, this was a side of Jon she hadn’t seen before but she liked it.

She struggled a little harder and got free from him his cock slipping out of her. She crawled up the next little amount of stairs almost stifling a giggle as she went. When she felt his hand closed around her ankle she feebly grasped at the carpet to pull her along but the threads fell short beneath her fingers.

He growled taking her down in the hallway with a thud she was again her back staring back up at him. The excitement in her eyes just spurred on his hunger, his lips falling to her breasts suckling on her pert nipple greedily. His tongue swirled around the tender skin bobbing the tight ball of flesh within his mouth. Bringing his knee across her legs he pinned her to the floor and held her hands at shoulder level.

“Jon please... god…” she sobbed. The pleasure was rocketing through her body like a freight train as she lay nailed to the floor her body having no choice but to take it.

He drilled into her harder, not relenting for a second. He'd not felt need or hunger for a woman, not this type of deep seated bone shaking need in a long time. But in this time and in this place this one woman was not only needing it she was taking it from him, plus a little more. In a surprise move when he’d let her wrists go she brought her own knee between his legs and rolled him on his back in one swift moment.

“Didn’t expect that did you” the huskiness in her voice sending little shivers over his skin. He watched her eyes cloud over with a sultry darkness that he hadn’t seen before. He grunted when she arched her body up and slammed back down on him. His eyes rolled back into his head when her walls clamped hard around his shaft.

“Can’t handle the pace Bongiovi?” she asked lacing her fingers in his bringing them up over his head. She leaned over his body still impaled by his aching cock relishing the way he filled her so completely. She let a soft groan out when her sensitive nipples scraped over the light mat of fur on his chest.

His dazzling blue eyes challenged her “Oh don’t you tease me Ms Adams, we all know how that ends” he said wryly content to let her have control for just this moment, but he’d be taking it back. There was no doubt about that.

Her teeth grazed his clavicle letting her tongue linger over his Adam’s apple before reaching the dip in his shoulder. Lifting herself again she pulled herself back up and then down hard on him eliciting a sharp hiss from his lips.

“You started this” she whispered.

Jon tipped his head back and managed a small laugh “So it’s my fault now that”- He didn’t get chance to finish his sentence when she once again dropped herself hard against his hips. “Shit” he muttered. He wriggled his hands free from her grasp desperate to touch her finally slapping them hard to her hips.

She left a soft sob out when his nails dug into the flesh, his need to control the situation was overpowering her. Bringing her lips to his she kissed him letting her tongue slide into his mouth. When his thumb moved to encircle the one spot buried within her thighs she crumbled. There was no thought into the primal sounds that escaped from her throat as he teased her and as expected she lost control in a heartbeat. Flipped on her back in a second she was once again at his mercy.

“Cheat” she managed to dryly speak. He knew her weakness and knew it well. His eyes gleamed matching the very pleased with himself look on his face as he wrapped her left leg around his hip.

“Game over Ms Adams” He forced himself deep inside her I have her once again cry out his name. Her own hands gripped his shoulders hard. “Faster. I need faster” she breathed.

He let her have it, every last inch of energy left inside him, he let go. His lips falling to any inch of available skin to taste suckle and nibble as he thrummed deep within her.

Not able to breath, not able to think she gave up all rights of herself to him when she let go her body unable to take anymore of the punishment he was dishing out to her. She screamed this time in unison with him as they both fell over the cliff together. His strong masculine frame wracked above her as he came till he fell back on top of her. She could feel the drumming of his heart against her chest as she closed her eyes. Good God how was she still alive after that.

His cheek rested on her shoulder while his body had a chance to settle from the mind blowing it had just endured. Cracking an eye open only to see the steady rise and fall of her chest he asked “Well I think I’m dead”. When he didn’t get a response he looked up, her eyes still closed and her breathing still stilted. He smiled stroking the hair that once again had become matted to her face away.

“You ok baby?” he asked her.

Was she ok? Her body ached in places that were just too delicious, her skin raw from his merciless mouth. She was just fucking fantastic.

She pulled all her strength into opening her eyes to move her neck to meet his gaze and managed a small grin “You win” she sighed and dropped her head back to the carpet panting.

He chuckled and withdrew from her body, a small wince ensuing as she wasn’t the only one having parts of her feeling tender. Pulling her up from the ground he scooped her limp body up in his arms and walked towards the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and joined her pulling the cover high around their bodies. She instinctively rolled into his chest, assuming a position that had become second nature to and breathed in his scent, he smelt like musky sweaty male mixed into one with a hint of rich spice. She felt her lips twitch into a grin when she nestled her cheek against the comfort of his plentiful chest hair. He pulled her in close his hands rested on the small of her back pressing the rest of his body into her.

Once Jon felt her body sink into his he looked around the room something still just felt a little odd being here with her in the bed that she had shared with her husband. He had no doubt now at all she’d moved on from all that but maybe it was time to really move on literally. His apartment was so big and often empty with just him occupying it. He finally drifted to sleep listening to the gentle sighs coming off her lips knowing he had to talk to her further about this. He felt a little selfish wanting her completely away from everything she used to have with Jason. But the fact was he wanted her to just to himself minus all the reminders of her previous life.

Chapter Seventy One

Jesse decided to have a long shower and wash away the cares of the day before dressing in some low cut jeans and a t-shirt before walking downstairs to clean up the living area. She straightened the room before lighting some tea light candles and popping in her favourite U2 CD.

Sitting down at her desk she cleared her emails and sent one to work telling them she’d pop in tomorrow to sort out some things, and she’d be back after that. No point in dragging it out any longer, she just wanted to move on. She’d made her decision and now she just wanted to move on with things. She got so lost in what she was doing she got a surprise when there was a knock on the door.

She walked towards the door and swung open to the door to reveal Jon standing there with a bottle of wine in one hand and a pizza box balancing on his palm in the other.

“Special Delivery” he said with a wide grin that spread across his face. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

She placed her hands on his hips and kissed him back, “If you keep us this sort of service, you’ll earn yourself a very big tip”. Her hands slid under his sweater and around to slide up his back.

“You want me to drop these and do you right now woman? As I’m tempted” he whispered against her lips tugging on her bottom one lightly.

Her hands retreated and she led him in closing the door behind them “I have to admit I’m hungry” she said admiring his round butt in the tight jeans that he was wearing when he walked towards the kitchen.

“Oh I just bet you are hussy” he teased as he found her wine glasses and plates and served up the pizza and wine before balancing it all bringing it all back in to the living room.

Jesse pulled her knees to her chest and sat back on the couch facing him. He offered her a slice of pizza and handed her the glass of red wine. She took a long sip and a bite of her pizza “Good god this is good, not your average pizza hut is it?’ she grinned tasting the rich flavours of tomato, garlic and oregano in her mouth.

He winked “Best little pizzeria not too far from here, best kept secret I tell you”. Jon reclined back himself and kicked off his shoes before sliding his feet around her on the end of the couch.

“Any other secrets Bongiovi?” she asked teasingly bringing the wine to her lips.

“Nope, what you see is what you get Jess, you know that by now I hope” he grinned taking a large bite of his slice.

She smiled and nodded “I sure do”. They finished their meal talking about the weeks ahead; Jesse had to arrange her trip to Milan that Jon would still accompany her on, as well as Jon would be heading back into the studio to polish up the tracks they had recorded in Nashville for the upcoming album. She loved to listen to Jon talk about the album and the different flavour it would be taking this time. The songs written for the album had deeper meaning being that they encapsulated a lot of the band’s recent struggles with things in life. She learnt that it was mainly Richie as he began to tell her some of the things that happened in the past.

They ended up moving so she was lying across his lap looking upwards as his fingers lightly twisted in her hair while they talked. He just loved how they were so comfortable in each other’s company. He was going to thank god everyday for the rest of his life that he didn’t end up losing her. A crooked smile spread across his lips as he remembered the song he recorded with Jesse in mind. Both he and Richie had written it, with Richie having his father in mind, and Jon had Jesse. That was the beauty of music, that loved the most. Freedom of Interpretation.

“What’s the grin for Bongiovi?” she asked looking up at him wondering what he was thinking about behind the cool blue exterior of his eyes.

Jon’s gaze flicked over to his bag and grinned. He gently raised Jesse so she was sitting back up and didn’t say a word before rifling through his bag. He carried his demo cd’s most places these days, well just incase he needed to re-listen in a different state of mind to critique the music. He padded over to her stereo system and popped the cd into the player and with his hand beckoned her towards him.

She raised an eyebrow as she stood in front of him wondering what he was up to now. Selecting the track he wanted to play he wrapped his arms around her so they were resting just on lower back. Slow melodic music started to play, the twang of a lone guitar whistled through the room before he pressed his cheek against hers and began to sing over the instrumental music that was playing.

A long slow drive down an old dirt road
You've got your hand out the window, listenin' to the radio
That's where I wanna be
On an old park bench in the middle of December
Cold hard rain fallin, can't find no cover
That would be alright with me

Hard days, good times, blue skies, dark nights
Baby, I want you to take me, wherever you're going to
Maybe say that you'll save me, a seat next to you

Jesse tried to listen to the words as his low croon tickled her ear; his voice was amazing and so heartfelt. Something she would never get sick of hearing for the rest of her life. Once she got past the pure sex and roughness of his voice that was making her body quiver, she listened to the lyrics that promised companionship through the hard times, and no matter what life brought them he wanted to be there. And he already had. Jon had been so understand from the beginning of their whole relationship through her hesitation to move on. Never once did he push her. His support with Jason’s parents and then with Jason. Even though she knew it tested him to his very core. He remained strong, and anchored her through her storms.

Life is like a Ferris wheel spinning around
When you get to the top it's hard to look down
Just hang on we'll make it through
Save me a seat next to you

Jon sang through the verses as he swayed her in time to the slow tempo of the music. Closing his eyes he lost himself in the meaning of the words, like he did so often on stage singing straight from his heart into hers. When Richie had written the sentiments meant for his father, Jon had joined in and found Jesse’s story speaking right to him at the same time.

As the music faded out and the final words whispered from his lips she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him with all her being. Giving him everything she had. The blue eyes that opened staring back at her returned her love.

“How was that?” he whispered sliding his hands to rest on her hips.

“Amazing, wonderful…” was all she managed to get out. What words could she possibly say to match the ones that just had come from his lips? Nobody had ever made her feel as enamoured as she did now. She couldn’t respond by words but she could be actions. Her kisses to his lips became more urgent and her hands found the underside of his t-shirt. Pulling it up and over his head before backing him towards the stairs kissing over every inch of flesh she could lay her mouth on.

Jon uttered a groan as she had him at her mercy her hands sliding all over his body down to the waist of his jeans. They soon made light work of his belt ripping it off and undoing his fly. His raging hardness welcomed her hands as she caressed the part of him that most ached for her touch.

In a heartbeat she’d dropped to her knees taking his jeans with her, pulling them roughly down his thighs. When her mouth found his shaft he stumbled backwards grabbing the stair railing. “Shit Jess” he muttered.

Using short sweet flicks across his tip, her tongue began a steady rhythm for him. Licking and biting him softly, she heard the swearing under his breath. She knew she was making him feel good....she was in control and it was making her hot.

His knuckles were turning white with the force he was gripping the hand rail forcing him to enjoy the sweet mercy she offering. He wanted her, and he wanted her now. He reached to pull her up from the ground as he dragged her t-shirt up and off her body, tangled in each other’s desire they tried to attempt the stairs only to tumble at the landing. Jon fell on top of her and wrestled for her jeans, there was nothing romantic about the way he pulled them off her body. She went to protest to suggest they could make it to the bed but he wildness in his eyes told her it was going to happen right here and now. Parting her legs with his knee he drove into her blindly.

Her body arched against his as she fell back against the worn threads of the carpet below gasping for breath. “Jon…” she managed as the next round of pounding into her came on strong. There was nothing sentimental and slow about these movements, it was only desperation and need that was driving him right now.

Chapter Seventy

Jane’s face was pale with horror as she watched her Daughter in law stand up to her. Peter raised his eyebrow at his wife.
“You gave her all the photos back? You really did that?” he asked.

Jane looked flustered as tried to defend herself “I was just in shock” she stuttered seeing the looks on both her husbands and son’s face.

Jason just shook his head. He was disgusted in his parents behaviour and could see that Jesse was angry and in every right. God knows he had to try hard here, maybe if he took her side he’d have a chance in still showing her he still loved her.

“Mom, I can’t believe you did that to her, after everything we have discussed if this ever happened, I told you I wanted Jesse to move on, and she did” he said. “I don’t have to like it but I’ve accepted that it’s happened.” He said managing a small smile at Jesse who was still standing defiantly in the room. She looked every bit as the confident classy woman that he’d missed so much for the last six months.

“Well... I... Jason you got to know it was so hard to see her with anyone else but yourself” Jane tried to reason looking at her husband for back up but he stayed silent on the matter.

“Hard for you? Do you know how much I tormented myself when I first started dating Jon? How hard it was to BE with another man apart from the one I was used to for the last five years or so” Jesse asked. She was ridiculous acting like it was her own personal grief all time and not taking into account Jesse’s feelings. She was acting as though she’d damn near cheated on Jason.

Jane managed a small laugh “I’m sure he more than made up for it”

“That’s it, get out of my house until you have the decency to respect my life, you should of just been happy that your son was still alive, but no you had to bring the petty comments back into it. So get out, Jason can visit you at your place until we work out our own arrangements” she said pointing at the door.

The room fell silent until Peter spoke up “You’re going to let her speak to us like that son?” he asked Jason as he stood.

Jason nodded “I think its best if you leave so Jesse and I can talk, we’ve still got a lot to sort out” he said quietly. Jane just shook her head and stood grabbing her purse and coat.

“If you think that’s best Jason, you call us later ok” she said as they made their way out the door. She turned at looked back at Jesse, ice in her eyes.

“Goodbye Jesse” she said before the both left.

Jesse just stood there in shock as they left; she’d never spoken to any of them like she just had. But enough had been enough and they crossed the line here and before with their treatment of Jon. He’d never deserved any of the coldness they’d given him. He was the innocent party in all of this.

Jason closed the door and came to stand in front of Jesse who was visibly upset. He placed his arms on hers and rubbed them gently.

“You ok?” he asked concerned.

She nodded “I’m sorry Jason but the way that they keep making me out to be some kind of bad person for all of this and I’ve had enough. You know I’ve always liked your parents but this has just been a little too much” she admitted.

He nodded “I know baby, its ok. They’re just still trying to adjust to all this. It’s a lot to take in, for all of us” he said taking her hands in his.

She looked up into familiar eyes once again. She saw the expected gleam in his eyes and her heart sank.

“Jason, we need to talk, and seriously this time” she said leading him to the couch to sit down. She needed to tell him how it was going to be.

“Honey, I know that this has been a huge shock, and honestly having you home is so wonderful, and this is going to be so hard for me to say” she said pausing.

“I am going to marry Jon Jason, I love him, I love you, but I’ve fallen out of love with you, and I’m so sorry” she said gently as she stroked his hand in hers.

The look in his eyes made her heart break, she hated to do this but she was in love with Jon and she needed to move on and dissolve the marriage with him. Things had changed too much in six months. Her relationship with his parents, and her feelings for him, she’d come to realize finally just were not as strong as they had used to be. She’d been forced to slam that door shut unexpectedly in her heart, and she wasn’t going to open it again. Not now that she had Jon.

He sat there feeling at a loss. Truthfully he had expected that she would stay with Jon now, but a small glimmer of hope when they had kissed had made her think that they may have had a small chance of repairing the past but now her words cut through him like ice. The woman that he loved had moved on and she still wanted to leave him behind. It was lost cause and he was deluding himself if he thought he could win her back.

“Ok” was all he could muster. “If you didn’t have Jon do you think it would have been different?” he asked.

Jesse sighed “Probably Jason, but I can’t say for sure” she admitted as she looked at the ground. “Does this mean that I’m still married to you?” she asked.

He nodded “I have no idea Jesse, I need to go and see my lawyer, we probably both should” he said looking around the house he once called home but now it just seemed so different.

She nodded “I still have your life insurance policy money that was paid out when you died, but we can sort it all out with the lawyer. I’m so sorry Jason, I know this is probably not what you expected or want, and I’ll always love you, you know that right” she said taking his hand.

He nodded as he brought her hand to his lips “I know Jesse, and I am happy you found someone else to make you happy you deserve it” Jason said.

They both stared at each other for the longest moment, both recollecting memories about what once was but now it was no more. Jason wanted nothing more than to touch her and hold her again, but it had gone so wrong before but this time the look in her eyes drew him in. He placed his lips on hers ever so gently.

Jesse closed her eyes as familiar lips fell on hers and she remembered the past again just for a moment. He felt so safe, just like he always had. Her hands slid to his cheek as she kissed him back for a moment and pulled away. Pressing her forehead against his and looking into those deep eyes.

“I’ll always love you Jason, always” she said.

He smiled as tears pricked at the corner of his eyes and pulled apart standing from her. He had to leave now or he never would. She’d made her decision and he respected her too much to let her go. He gathered some of his things in a sports bag and headed out the door, looking back at he smiled and just simply said.

“Goodbye Jess, I’ll be in touch” before closing it behind him.

Jesse’s cheeks became wet with tears as she felt part of her life again walk away again. She wanted this, she didn’t love him the way she loved Jon so it was never going to be fair to him to lead him on. And like Jason was, he was a strong man and always respected her to not make this harder than it already was.

She jumped when her pocket vibrated and pulled out her phone managing a small smile when she saw it was Jon.

“Hey” she managed to say.

“Hi baby, you ok?” he asked noticing her quiet tone hoping she had been ok. He’d been worried all day about her.

She leaned back into the couch “Yeah I am now, Jason just left” she said.

“Left? As in for good?” Jon asked confused.

“Yep. I told him it was over once and for all, we’ll deal with each other with our lawyers and sort the house out and some other things. I think now I’m still officially married to him though, but we’ll work through all that” she said.

Jon smiled with relief deep down he knew she had chosen him, and she’d said it but having Jason around still had made him uneasy for some reason.
“Well there is no rush to get married baby, I just wanted to show you I was serious about ya, that’s all” he said.

“I know Jon, and we will. How did the kids and Dot go?” she asked knowing he’d probably had a rough day as well.

“They are good, well most of them, Jesse is still a little disgruntled but I’m going to take him out tomorrow, have some man on man time” he said.

“Sounds like fun, oh god, Steph still needs to come and work with me, we’ll get that set up, I’ll probably go back into the office Friday, that’s if she still wants to.” she said. She’d completely forgot about it with everything that had been happening.

“Wants to? God, Jess, she’s dying to” he laughed “she understands though, its ok” he said.

She sank back further into the couch and twirled her hair with a small smile playing on her lips “So what are you doing now?” she asked hopefully. She was more than ready for her pizza night that Jon promised.

He chuckled “Well I was ringing to see what the state of play was, and if you ok, but now I know you’re all alone in that big place of yours, I’m going to pick up that pizza and wine, and bring it to you, how does that sound?”

“Like a plan” she said grinning.

Chapter Sixty Nine

Across town it was Jon arriving at the place he once called home. Sitting in his car he took a deep breath and got out of the car ready to deal with this. Jamming his hands in his jeans pockets he walked across the lawn where his eldest son Jesse was sitting out on the decking that they installed last summer listening to his ipod.

“Hey you” he said as he plopped himself down on the seat next to him stretching himself out.

“Hey Dad” he replied quietly still staring across the lawn tapping his foot to the beat of whatever song he was listening to.

Jon could tell he was a little annoyed, Jesse was the one that would stare away, Stephy would rake him over the coals and the other two, and well they were too young to be seriously mad at him.

“Jesse, I’m sorry you had to hear it this way, this isn’t the way that I intended it to happen at all buddy” he honestly said but Jesse still looked away. Jon leaned over and tugged one of the earphones gently out of his ears. “Jesse please listen to me, I’m trying to explain here” he said as Jesse turned to face him.

“What? You’re getting married to her, no big deal right” he said shrugging still playing with the dial.

Jon sighed it was going to be the cool kid reaction today. “Is it really Jesse? It’s a huge deal for you guys. I know that, I wanted to talk to you before all this, but some thing have happened that I had to take care of, I’m sorry bud, I really am” he reached over and patted his knee.

Jon didn’t get a chance to hear his reaction as Dot came out of the house and walked over to them.

“Hi Jon, Jess honey, Chris is on the phone for you” she said. Jesse got up and thanked his mom and walked towards the house not saying anymore to Jon.

“That go well did it?” Dot asked as she sat on the chair her son had just vacated.

“No, it didn’t, listen I didn’t mean for it all to happen this way, Jesse’s dead husband is back. There was a mistake and he’s been in a Prisoner of War Camp this whole time, so that happened the night before I was meant to come here first thing in the morning and talk to you and the kids about Jess” he said putting his face in his hands.

Dot was all set to rip into Jon the way he’d let this unfold as the one thing they had always agreed on no matter what was that they’d always put the kids first, before their own lives. But seeing Jon in front of her now and the explanation told her she didn’t need to. He felt awful.

“Not dead? What in the earth? How is she coping?” Dot asked shocked.

“She’s ok, there’s a lot to work through, we’re still together at the moment, but I don’t know, I kinda don’t believe Jason will let her go without a fight” Jon said staring out to the river. God he wished he had a cigarette right now.

“Jesus, Jon, I’m sorry, it must be awful, I mean fantastic he’s not dead, but she’s moved on…” Dot trailed off, she knew Jon didn’t need her to recap the details. She could see it already in his face that he’d been there and back more than once.

“Exactly Dot, I just... Don’t know what’s going to happen” he stood up and brushed his jeans down. “But right now I need to talk to the kids, how is Steph?” he asked.

“You know Steph, she’s brewing, and you’re more than likely going to get a barrelling when you go in there” Dot said with a small smile.

“God, who did she get that from by the way?” he asked shaking his head with a chuckle.

Dot managed a small knowing grin “Just tell her, she’ll understand. I think they are more shocked of the time Jon to be honest, that you’re marrying so soon” and in all honesty she was as well. She knew Jon loved Jesse she could see that clearly at Steph’s birthday party but marriage so soon was a bit surprising especially for someone like Jon.

“I know it’s a shock, it just felt right, I love her a lot Dot, I’m not going to hide that anymore.” He said as they both made their way back into the house. Dot let him go first and find their daughter who was lying sprawled across the couch reading in their living room.

“Hey Stephy” he said as he sat on the end of the couch cautiously waiting for the fire that was their daughter.

“Hi Dad” she said as she put the magazine down. Here it came, that Bongiovi temper started to glimmer in her eyes.

“Listen Steph – I’m” but he didn’t get a chance.

“So when is the wedding or was that yesterday?” she asked, her voice laced in sarcasm.

“Come on Steph, it wasn’t meant to be like this, I’m sorry that I didn’t get the chance to tell you, I was going to but Jesse’s dead husband is back” Jon realized how ridiculous this was beginning to sound.

Stephanie just sat up straighter and looked at her father “Back from being dead? How?” she asked confused.

“He never was dead it was a mistake, he was captured by one of those nasty war camps, but they thought he was dead till just recently. He came back the night of Jesse’s fashion launch. It was just a shock and I didn’t handle it well and just things were crazy, I’m still getting my own head around it all” he admitted.

“Holy cow” she said “He’s back? What happens with you now Dad?” she asked. She could see her father looked worn. The same kind of worn before him and her mother split up.

Jon sank further back into the couch and racked his nails across the underside of his chin. “We talked, she still wants to stay together but she has a lot to work through with her husband. So I don’t know, it will be a case of wait and see.” He said before pulling her into his side.

“So you see that was the reason that I couldn’t tell you kids, not because I forgot or anything. You’re the most important thing to me Steph, you all are. And I want to make sure you’re ok with it” he said stroking her long brown hair.

“Dad, you’re scaring me” she said looking up into her fathers seemingly sad eyes. Normally she would protest a hug but she could see he was in need of one. She’d never seen him looking sad as he did right now.

“I’m ok, it’s just been a long twenty four hours baby.” he replied gently. God had it what.

“You’re afraid she might choose him?” she asked.

Jon shrugged and then nodded “It’s a possibility, if I was her husband I would try and win her back” he said. Stephanie moved further into his lap.

“Dad, come on you’re you... She wouldn’t give that up” Stephanie said to try and be reassuring.

He managed a small snort “And what exactly does that mean, I’m me... aren’t I the big bad old Dad”.

“You’re not that bad, sometimes you’re a pain but mostly you’re ok” she teased.

Jon felt a small smile slip across his lips as he stared down at his daughter “Thanks Stephy, I hope so too” he said. They were soon inundated by the two younger boys and they climbed all over Jon to vie for best position on his lap.

“Whoa guys!” he said as he pulled one onto each knee and ruffled their hair.

“I’ll get you a coffee Dad while these two rip you apart” Steph joked as she got off the couch and left.

“Thanks baby” he said as he leaned forward and tackled Jake and Romeo.

“What’s have you two little mischief makers been up to?” he asked. They were like two little balls of energy, unable to sit still for more than ten seconds.

After being told all about what Barney and the Wiggles had been doing and being mauled, he had them shrieking with laughter as he tickled them and spend some Dad time with them. They were growing so big every day. He made a mental note to spend more time with them. When Stephanie returned carrying his coffee, he just motioned for to go on the table. It was suicide thinking he could drink coffee with these two on his lap at the same time. He’d learnt that the hard way after many burnt thighs.

“Is Jesse still on the phone?” he asked her.

She nodded “Yeah he is” she went to say something but she decided not to. But she forgot her Dad had this uncanny ability to read her like a book.

“What is it?” he asked once Jake dethroned himself from Jon’s lap.

“Jesse kind of thought that you’d end up getting back with mom” she admitted. She knew Jesse would probably kill her for telling their Dad but Steph could see how tired he already looked, he seemed so worried.

Jon sighed and closed his eyes “He didn’t? Did he?” Jon and Dot had always made it so clear to the kids that they wouldn’t get back together. “Why would he think that?”

She shrugged “His friend’s parents got divorced and they hardly speak, I think because you and mom do, and you’re here a lot ya know” she tried to explain the way he’d told her.

Jon nodded that did make sense in an odd way “Ok, thanks Stephy for telling me, you did the right thing honey. Jon knew he’d have to talk to his son again. It couldn’t be easy for them, and that’s why him and Dot had tried to keep things as normal as possible when they were around them together. In this case it seemed that’d had the opposite effect.

Chapter Sixty Eight

Jon sat back and leaned against the headboard and sighed. Another long day ahead to deal with shit no doubt. He had damage control to do and fast, for his kid’s sake. Looking down he watched Jesse sleep soundly. The way her hair was strewn across her face, and the tight pout her lips were in almost caused his lower body to stir. He didn’t have time damn it. Reaching out he traced the tip of his finger down her jaw line till she stirred.

She looked up with sleepy eyes and managed a small smile “What time is it?” she asked as she shuffled her body upright. He reached over and pulled her into his chest wrapping his arms around her. Breathing deep the smell of her, vanilla and soap it was a comfort for him right now before he needed to go and face the world.

“Just a little after twelve” he whispered into her soft tresses.

“God I feel like I need to sleep for a week” she sighed into his warmth while he stroked her back gently.

“Mmm” was all he managed to reply as he gazed out the window.

Jesse noted his distant tone and soft fall of his chest. She looked up see the curve of his jaw line pointing away. “What’s wrong?” she asked noticing the soft frown that had appeared on his forehead.

His blue eyes looked down at her, full of concern. “Dot just rang before. Our engagement made the papers, and the kids know” he paused “as well as my mother”.

Jesse pulled away and sat up “Really? Shit, Jon… I didn’t think... The launch! I’m so sorry” she said. She should have thought about that on the night, that things would get out from the launch to the media, she’d spent all night introducing Jon as her fiancé it was only going to be a matter of time.

His frown deepened “Hey hey, this is not your fault. I knew the press would be there that night. I had planned to tell the kids and Dot the morning after but of course the Jason showed up. I just lost track of time being worried about you, it was just an accident, and once I explain that to them they will be fine” he reassuringly nodded. He wasn’t totally sure of that, but he’d have to damn well try at the very least.

“Was she upset? How are the kids?” she asked worried knowing he held his kids welfares above all else.

Jon shook his head “I don’t know, Dot just said that they were disappointed that they had to hear it through the press than from me, and she’s right in a way, I’ve always made a huge deal about telling them everything before it hit the media, and then the most important thing of all, I slipped up.” he ran a hand through his hair and sighed hitting his head back against the wall.

Jesse closed her eyes. This was supposed to be the happiest time in a woman’s life, engaged to someone she deeply loved, friends and family alike celebrating the good news. But not in this case, they seemed to be just making more waves wherever they went, whether it was unintentional or not.

Jon could see she was calculating thoughts in those big brown eyes, she’d gone so quiet.
He pulled her against his chest again and held her even tighter than before.
“Now listen here Jesse Adams, we’re going to work through all this. I know we are we’ll find a way. We have to” he said placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

She laced her fingers through his “I know we will. I just don’t want to face it all right now, can we run away instead?” she asked quietly. That idea was much more appealing than facing Jason again today and his parents. She had a lot to work through with him now, would they divorce? Or were they already officially since his death already had dissolved the marriage? God this was just a mess.

Jon chortled “God Jess, I would want nothing more than to pack you up and go lye on a remote island somewhere where no one knew who we were, yep, lets do that” he managed a smile. If only life was that simple right now. He was used to having so much control in his situations, choosing when and how he dealt with people and problems, but this had him completely thrown.

He held her in the simplicity of their silence just for a few moments longer before they both knew that they had to get up and face the world. A world that promised so many challenges right now. He nuzzled the crook of her neck with his nose before kissing the soft skin there.

Once they both had redressed and had a quick bite to eat that consisted of cheese on toast accompanied by very strong coffee, Jesse stood holding his hands in hers as they kissed goodbye and made plans for that evening. She would bring a couple of bags of clothes back with her, she couldn’t stay with Jason it just felt too weird.

“Just remember ring me if you need to ok, I’ll come, do whatever you want” he said running his finger across the band of her ring.

She smiled “Same goes with you, I’m looking forward to that pizza, wine and that couch just like you promised” both thinking they’d very much need to relax after the day were over so Jon had suggested that’s exactly what they did tonight.

~

Jason sat in the living room of his house with his parents, it had been an emotional reunion, and they’d been so shocked but overwhelmed with joy that their son was alive. They couldn’t believe that they had made such a mistake with his death, but realized that wasn’t important anymore. After the initial tears and explaining he watched his mother lean back and look around.

“Where’s Jesse?” Jane asked noting that she hadn’t been here the whole time.

Jason cringed “She’s at Jon’s, she is coming back today supposedly” he explained. She still hadn’t definitely told him it was over between them, so a small flicker of hope burned inside him.

Jane raised her eyebrow “She went to his house when YOU were here last night?” she shook her head “I expected better of her to be honest”.

“Mom! You can’t blame this on her, she did exactly what I asked her to do, and that was move on. She’s still in shock” Jason explained. He got that, he knew that she’d done nothing wrong moving on with Jon, but he still couldn’t help the niggling feeling that it had felt like she’d cheated on him.

“That be so, she left you in the house alone to go back to her little fling with the rock star?” she asked incredulously.

Jason sighed and sat back “Well its no fling, she’s supposedly marrying him” he said. Both Peter and Jane’s eyes widened.

“What? You have to be joking, well that’s liable to change now that you are home, and alive surely. You’re her husband” Jane said clicking her nails together. She was marrying the rock star? She liked Jesse, she always had, very career driven and independent and she had made her son very happy. But this was unacceptable the way she had treated him.

“No I’m not. I’ve seen them together, and the way they look at each other, it’s real. I can’t change that Mom. If she doesn’t want to come back to me, she doesn’t” he said. Jason knew that this was the truth but he wasn’t prepared to at least go down without trying. She can’t of lost five years of feelings in just six months surely.

Just then the door opened and Jesse herself came in. Jason stood up “Hey” he said.

“Hey, Peter, Jane good to see you again” she smiled through gritted teeth with surprise as she had expected that Jason would be at their place hoping she’d have time to just pull herself together first before all this, but no. She was head first into the fire.

Jane smiled “Jesse... so good to see you again, isn’t this a miracle! Our Jason back here with us, who would have ever thought that this day was possible” she said gushing. Jesse just raised her eyebrow, well hell she’d changed her tune. Jesse wasn’t stupid though she knew she was doing it because Jason was in the room.

Jesse managed a genuine smile as she patted Jason’s arm “Of course it is, it’s a miracle for sure” she gave him a small smile as she excused herself to get changed, since she was still in the damn dress from the launch being the only thing she had taken to Jon’s as she was wearing it at the time. She quickly change into a pair of jeans and a black cashmere sweater before heading back downstairs.

They all looked up at her when she came in “What’s wrong?” she asked. Jason looked slightly sheepish before Jane spoke up.

“Well Jason was just telling us about your engagement, and I was saying that all changes now doesn’t it Jesse?” she asked, her lips curling at the edges.

“Um, I would rather talk to Jason privately about all that if you don’t mind” she said as she picked up the mail that had arrived for the day.

“Dear, we’re all family here, and we know how loyal you are to Jason, so its only natural that you return to him and break it off with this Jon character” she said.

Jesse saw red and dropped the letters “As I said, this is between Jason and I, things are more complicated than just loyalty, I love Jon, and I know you don’t like him the way you treated us” she spat. She watched Jason raise her brow.

She grinned at Jason ruefully “Oh yeah they made Jon feel uncomfortable and made me feel like I was committing a cardinal sin by seeing someone else six months after my husband had died…”

“Mom?” Jason asked. That didn’t sound like his parents at all. They usually always had supported Jesse no matter what.

Jesse managed to laugh “Oh but it gets better, when I told them that I was seeing Jon and nothing would change that, they had the nerve to dump all the pictures of us they had over the years in a box on MY doorstep, do you know how that made me feel? After everything we had been through with his death? How long it took ME to get over the guilt of seeing another man? Yeah well, there you go Jason, mommy dearest, not so dear after all” Jesse said standing defiant in the living room with her hands on her hips daring her to speak back.

Chapter Sixty Seven

She squeezed his hand tighter “It was the hardest thing to get over Jason, you know it was. But I did it, somehow I did, and it was probably because of you, but what scares me the most is, I don’t think I could handle trying to get over you too” the tears again threatened her eyes. “And I don’t want to”.

“What are you saying?” he asked his toes curling in his shoes.

“I’m saying, I don’t want this to end Jon, but you’ve got to realize I have a lot of sort out in the meantime, to be fair to Jason. Give him a chance to accept that I have moved on, and that won’t be easy. If you’re willing to accept that, and work with me through this, to know we will be together in the end, I would love that. But I want to give you the option to say no if you don’t see it as being fair to you” she said. There was so much to overcome with his parents and god knows what else. It wasn’t going to be a smooth ride at all.

He clasped both hands around hers. “Jesse, god, of course I will, anything is better than losing you, anything.” he said and it was the truth. There was no way he wanted that, but she was right this wasn’t going to easy and he wanted to be there for her any way he could.

“Are you sure this is what you really want?” he asked softly stroking his index finger along her hand. He had to make sure.

She nodded “I think so, I do” she said with a small smile. She was seventy-five percent sure in her heart this is what she wanted. The other twenty-five was more guilt and loyalty to stay with Jason. She knew she would have to be there for him while he got back on his feet and readjusted to life again.

“I’ll do anything I can Jess. But all I ask if you be honest with me, I know this can’t be easy on you but if you do change your mind…” he said.

Jesse saw the uncertainty still in his eyes “Jon I’m not going to change my mind, I want you” she said squeezing his hand tighter. They ended up finishing their breakfast and talking through a bit more about what she needed to do over the next few days. She called into work and spoke to her boss and told him what had happened, they were most understanding and told her to take the rest of the week off to sort things out. Jesse knew she wouldn’t be able to stay away that long with the success of the show, she couldnt afford to rest too much on her laurels.

They cleaned up the dishes both fighting yawns as they cleared the kitchen. Jon wrapped his arms around her waist as she stacked the dishwasher.

“I think someone needs to sleep, it’s been a long night” he whispered brushing the hair back from her neck and placing a gentle kiss.

She brought her palm up and around to stroke his cheek. “I need a shower but a nap sounds divine, someone needs to sleep off their hangover?” she teased turning around to face him. She brushed back the short cropped hair at his hairline and leaned forward to meet his lips.

He laughed “Maybe”. Jon laced his arms lower and scooped her up in his arms and walked towards the bathroom.

“Jon, I can walk’ she protested between giggles as she was placed down on the marble counter top in there. He turned on the water, and adjusted it to the right temperature before slipping each shoe off her foot making then clunk to the floor.

Jesse reached up and unbuttoned his shirt slipping it off his shoulders running her hands across his masculine curves. Their mouths met in a tangle of hot sensual kisses. He soon found her belt and unravelled it letting the red chiffon tumble to the floor. Reaching up to the dress he popped the buttons opening before pulling it away from them.

Steam enveloped them once he’d removed all their clothing. Lifting her into the shower he pressed her against the wall with care kissing her gently. All he wanted was her right now, just her. To be with her, show her that he loved her more than anything. Her hands trailing down his back to come to rest at his trim waist.

Each kiss, each touch as the hot water glided off them was one of promise, one of comfort. Jon reached and squirted some shower gel onto his palm before using circular motions to lather her body up.

“Mmm” closing her eyes and enjoying his simple touch as he washed her. His calloused fingers gentle to the touch. She soon did the same for him so they were both clean and the cares of the night had been washed away.

Stepping back into the bedroom once she was dried she watched as he slipped on pair of boxer briefs admiring his frame. She let a small sigh slip out before she had time to stop it.

He smirked as he pulled the covers back and walked to where she was standing. “Problem?” he asked pulling her in closer nuzzling the soft arch of her neck with his nose.

“Nope, I don’t have one” she teased looking up at him meeting in another sweet kiss. He leaned over and reached behind her and pulled open a draw from his mahogany tallboy.

“My t-shirts pick one, another one you can steal” he chuckled into ear lobe teasing it with his tongue.

She smiled as she pulled away and selected another Philly Soul shirt to wear before slipping it over her head and slipping into the bed next to him. The weight of the last twenty four hours rested heavily on her mind as she snuggled into his warmth and rested her cheek across the generous splattering of fur. Closing her eyes, she didn’t expect to fall asleep so soon.

He pulled her in close and tight, he was fighting the need for sleep himself especially now that his own mind had been put at ease by her words and actions. He knew the road ahead wasn’t going to be easy but he was determined to be there for her any way he could. Pulling the covers further up around him and snuggling down, he felt her breathing became steady telling him she was asleep. He let his fingertips stroke her back causing her to murmur and move in closer to him.

Jon must have drifted off eventually he was soon awoken again by the shrill of his phone on the bedside table. Reaching over he picked up the phone.

“Hello?” he asked croakily.

“Jon its Dot, were you still in bed?” she asked. It was after twelve noon but she knew her ex-husband often kept strange hours.

He rolled over leaving Jesse still sleeping soundly “Yeah it’s been a hell of a night, what’s up? Everything ok with the kids?’ he asked shifting to sit up rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah they’re fine, a little surprised but fine” Dot said. Jon noted the tone in her voice, she wasn’t happy at something.

“Not happy at what?” he asked scratching his head and yawning.

“Your engagement Jon, they had to find out through the papers, from Jesse’s launch. Jesus Jon, I thought you were on a good thing when you came to talk to them about her and then introduced her, but to not tell them you’re engaged? Your mother was the one who rang me and evidently Stephy saw it on one of those trashy news segments, thinking it was untrue as you hadn’t told her” she explained.

Jon closed his eyes and hit his head back on the wall “Shit!” with everything that had happened in the last few days he’d completely forgotten to tell his family, he was going to the morning after but things came up and then Jesse’s launch and then Jason…

“Dot I am so sorry, Shit, it’s just been a wild few days, trust me” he said. He knew his mother was going to go nuts about this, and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

Dot rolled her eyes same excuses. “Just come and do damage control…today” she said sternly and hung up the phone.

Jesus she hadn’t even given him a chance to explain for fucks sake. He hung the phone up irritably and sighed. One thing after another.

Chapter Sixty Six

It was after six am when Jesse got into her car that morning and drove to Jon’s. What a night it had been, and if at all possible she was more confused and mixed up than she was before. But she had to see him, she just had to.

The kiss with Jason had been short lived. She’d pulled away and told him she couldn’t do it. The look on his face resounded in her heart as she sat in the driver’s seat watching the splotches of rain hitting her windscreen. He was heart broken, he’d seen in her eyes that she truly had moved on.

They had ended up talking for hours about the last few months, she managed to tell him about Jon and also now about Kia dating Richie. She failed to mention the part about his parents being so cold to her around her dating Jon, but she figured that would come in time. He was due to see them this morning, and he’d asked her to go with him to see them but she’d declined, saying she would pop around later and join then. She had to see Jon first as she had a feeling he would be going crazy inside.

The end result was Jason asked her to come back to him, she should have said no straight away. She was sure that she wanted to, but something still deep inside of her relented with that decision. This was just too hard. No one should have to make this decision. Ever.

Upon arriving at Jon’s she quickly scurried in the rain to the apartment complex her heels splashing in the puddles. She hadn’t bothered to change since the night before, so she was still in the easy-access dress from the launch and she hated to think what she must have looked like. Wrapping the long woollen coat around her body tighter she made her way to his floor with the key code he’d given her the other week and was soon standing at his door. She nervously knocked and prayed that he’d answer. She didn’t have to wait long as the oak door swung open but it was Richie’s worried brown gaze she was met with.

“Jesse!” he exclaimed as he took a step forward and wrapped his long arms around her tightly. “God are you ok?” he asked standing back to get a better look at her, The usual sassy confidence she projected was long gone, and sad brown eyes stared back at him enhanced by the rain drenched look she was sporting.

“I’ve had better days Rich, is Jon here? Is he ok?” she asked concerned. Having Richie here told her that answer immediately.

He shook his head “He’s asleep but he’ll be wanting to see ya Darlin, he’s a mess, but he’s trying to stay strong, like Jon does” he replied as he popped his knuckles together.

She smiled sadly. “He was fantastic last night, so understanding” She bit back the tears as she saw him asleep slumped in the chair behind Richie. “It’s just so hard” she admitted quietly watching the destroyed man in front of her sleep.

“Heyy” he gently rubbed her back as he led her in. “Of course it’s hard, god Jess, I can’t even imagine the emotions you are going through” he soothed. Richie picked up his keys and phone before turning to her.

“I’m gonna leave you guys alone, I’m meeting Kia for breakfast, you want me to tell her?” he asked.

Jesse closed her eyes God Kia, she hadn’t even had a chance to call her about this, and she was going to be just as shocked as she had been.

“Please if you don’t mind Richie, tell her I will catch up with her later today” Jesse knew she was going to need her to talk this out with her, as right now she had no idea what she was going to do.

“Sure thing babe” Richie motioned to Jon “he might be cranky as he had a bit to drink last night”

Jesse’s eyes ran over the beer bottles and empty bottle of whiskey that littered the table and nodded. God, he was devastated. She knew she should have come quicker.

Richie soon left so Jesse a pot of coffee on in the kitchen still deep in thought when she almost dropped the mugs she was collecting from the cabinet.

"Shit" she muttered as they made a clang on the benchtop.

Jon squinted his eyes open, the light of the room almost burning his sockets out. He rubbed his temples as the pain raidated through his head. Then a crash came from the kitchen making him wince a little as he stretched from the chair. Typical Richie always made so much fucking noise, he thought to himself as he padded towards the kitchen scratching his head.

“You can’t possibly make coffee quietly can ya asshole?” he said walking in but stopped when who he saw wasn’t Richie. His heart skipped a beat as she turned and faced him with a sheepish look on her face.

“Sorry baby, I dropped the damn mugs” she replied meeting tired blue eyes. The rings around his eyes were prominent and he looked awful.

“Oh hell, its you, you can throw plates around the place baby, anything you like” he said, he wanted more than anything to hold her but what if she’d come to tell him she was leaving him? Fuck this was a horrible situation.

Jesse managed a small smile as she watched him calculate it all in his face “You just going to stand there?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

He didn’t need much more than that, he enveloped her in his arms and pulled her tightly to his chest, breathing her vanilla and woman scent in, that right now was the most comforting feeling in the world.

“God, it’s so good to see you, I thought you might not come” he admitted not caring how stupid he sounded.

“Of course I would, it’s been a long night that’s all” she replied sighing into the warmth of his chest and holding on tight to his waist.

“I know baby, I know…I need some aspirin damn it” he cringed as the pain blinded his thoughts.

She pulled away and chuckled “Richie told me you would be cranky” she teased grazing her finger down the stubble on his cheek.

He managed an easy grin “Yeah I sorta went overboard” he shrugged “I couldn’t help it”. He returned her gentle caress with one of his own, tucking a strand of obviously rain drenched hair behind her ear.

She ran her hands down to rest on his waist “It's ok, this is just as hard for you as it is for me, I know that” She looked back at the kitchen. “I’m starving so let’s make some breakfast to soak up that alcohol and sit and talk” she suggested seeing the sun had started to break through the clouds again.

“Sounds great baby” he didn’t want to let her go but he resigned to pressing a light kiss to her forehead and doing so as she got busy making French toast and bacon.

Soon they both were sitting at his large oak dining table and enjoying breakfast. Jon had so many questions he wanted to probe her with but he knew he had to be patient and trust she would tell him all in good time.

She sat back and looked up at him. She didn’t know where to begin, she could see his uneasiness in the way he ate even, and he was on edge waiting for her to speak.

“Jason’s devastated” as she began to work out finally her feelings in her heart.

Jon looked up twirling the fork around the bacon on his plate “I bet he is. It can’t be easy seeing you like this” he put his fork down and leaned back. “But what do you feel Jesse, putting aside what he feels and what I feel, what are you feeling?” He had to know.

She took a long sip of the black coffee she’d deliberately made strong. “Honestly?” she asked.

“On one hand, I feel loyalty to my husband to go back there, I do and I can’t help that. And one the other hand, I wish that this hadn’t happened as I’m so happy with you. Arguably more happy than I ever was with Jason” she admitted as she ran her finger along the rim of the cup.

Jon nodded. He knew loyalty to Jason would be one of her biggest things, as Jesse was loyal, that much he knew.
“Its understandable Jess, I get that, so it’s ok really” he said as she watched her twist her engagement ring nervously.

She leaned forward and took his hand over the table and took a deep breath. “Jon, I love you so much, the last few months of my life with you have just been wonderful, they really have” her nerves inside her were bunching as she tried to continue. She need to let him know, she couldn't leave it hanging and seeing him looking so dishevelled when she arrived drove it home to her.

Jon’s stomach twisted at her words, she was giving him the break up speech? He waited for her to continue. His heart beat loudly against his chest and his spare hand clenched into a tight fist as he waited for the answer.