Chapter Eighty

“Jason? What are you doing here?” Jesse got up and walked to the door and stood to partially obscure his view. She sucked in her breath at his appearance, the edginess in his demeanour had her a little wary. His face had a five o’clock shadow that was inching around his jaw line and lack of sleep was evident from the black rings around his eyes.

“What can’t a friend come and see a friend?” he asked. She was obviously a little rattled to see him and the young girl in the room behind her just watched them carefully.

Jesse sighed “Of course you can but I was going to call you later, I’m kind of a little busy at the moment” she whispered not wanting to draw too much attention to him with Stephanie right there.

“Work experience?” Jason asked nodding in the young girl’s direction that looked vaguely familiar to him but he couldn’t picture it.

There was no way that she was telling him that it was Jon’s daughter “That’s right, she is just spending the day with me to see what the fashion industry is like” Jesse explained nervously hoping that Jason would take the hint and leave.

Jason looked behind her and back at her and slyly grinned “Its Jon’s daughter isn’t it?” The resemblance in the eyes was uncanny. Why the hell was Jesse so uneasy about it?

Jesse didn’t answer him, the voice deep inside her was screaming that she needed to get Jason out of here and quick.

“Jason, we’re really busy, can I meet you after work? But if it’s the divorce that you want discuss maybe we should be waiting till the lawyers?” she bit down on her lip as the soft lines in his face suddenly turned hard and his brown eyes darkened.

He shifted his feet and moved inches closer to her “So that’s how it’s going to be then? Five years you just want to throw away, not even give the time of day?” his voice fell dangerously low. This wasn’t the Jason that she knew and loved once upon a time and truth be told he was starting to scare her.

Please just leave.

She forced a smile on her face “Not at all Jason, I just need to get some important stuff done today” she had to keep him calm. This wasn’t the place to do this, not here, not now.

Jason forced himself to dial down the anger that was raging through this blood, so the rock star had turned her too. What had happened to the sweet sassy Jesse he loved and adored? He’s turned you against me too. Damn him.

“Ok Jesse, after work though? Just you and me?” he asked softly this time reaching out and putting his hand on her arm.

Her eyes fell to his hand and then back to his. Her body stiffened at the touch, what the hell was wrong here? Why did she get such a bad feeling?

Say yes, anything to get him out of here. She tried to conceal the unsteadiness of her body underneath his slight touch and nodded “Meet me at Jimmy’s at five” she said.

He stood back satisfied “Jimmy’s at five, I’ll see you then” he said before he turned around and left the office. Jesse closed the door and locked it before leaning in against it closing her eyes. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest. She again forced the intermittent panic and turned around and smiled at Steph.

“Now where were we?” she asked knowing instantly the look in Steph’s eyes was going to ask her questions.

“Who was that?” she asked. Jesse still looked shaken up to her; he must have been someone nasty.

“That was Jason, my ex-husband, your daddy told you about him?” Jesse asked walking back to her desk. She was tempted to email the security of the building and bar Jason from coming back in the building.

Steph followed her and sat in the chair opposite her desk “Yeah he did, was he ok, he seemed angry about something?” she asked. Jesse fumbled with the sharpie on her desk trying to stay calm she had to in front of Stephanie.

“He just wants to talk about the divorce, since I’m marrying your dad, it needs to become official, and I guess in some ways Jason might still be having a hard time accepting I’m with your Daddy now” Jesse tried to explain as simply as she could. She had to only assume that was the reason Jason seemed to be perturbed. And she’d expected it to be honest with the way he’d taken it so easily when she’d chosen Jon. But something was different, she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what though.

“Do you still love him?” Stephanie asked curiously.

Jesse smiled “Oh Steph, its hard to explain yes and no” she said. How did you explain it to the daughter of the man you were meant to be marrying?

“Try me, I won’t tell Dad” she said honestly her ocean blue eyes sincere.

“Well….” Jesse fiddled with the edges of the corners of her diary before continuing. “Somewhere still inside me I care about him, he’s the man I did marry. But Steph when he died, and this sounds weird but I buried my love for him in a way with him. But I still feel guilty that I don’t love him, after everything he went through.” She said honestly.

Steph nodded, wow Jesse was a really nice person and so open. Worried she might be sounding nosy she actually was genuinely interested how someone comes to make that decision.

“He still really loves you?” she asked.

Jesse nodded “I think so Steph” Jesse pulled herself together and stood up “See, this is why you don’t need to worry about boys for a long long time, you hear?” she teased trying to change the mood.

Stephanie laughed “Now you sound like my Dad.” Both of the women shared a knowing smile of understanding before Steph went back to the table of material.

“So where were we?” she asked picking back up the slim piece of material Jesse was about to start on and held it out to her with a grin.

“Right yes! I was teaching you how to make a boring pair of jeans not so boring” she said taking her seat back at the sewing machine. The next few hours flew past as Jesse and Steph talked more fashion and perused over the summer line Jesse was working on with Stephanie offering screeds of ideas that Jesse was definitely going to execute.

When George came in and took them out for lunch at the local café he entertained Stephanie even more than before which left Jesse to digest the events of the morning as she sipped her orange juice. The way Jason was, so uneasy and almost anxious wasn’t like him at all. Always the strong confident one, being in the Marines had taught him that, always straight up and didn’t mess around but now Jesse felt like he’d become a stranger. Maybe that was her fault? She’d moved on.

“Earth to Jesse” a voice in the distance teased. She looked up at George and Stephanie both looking expectantly.

“God, sorry I was a million miles away” she blushed.

“You haven’t touched your sandwich even” George pointed out, she had something on her mind but he wouldn’t ask until Stephanie wasn’t around.

“I know, it looks too divine to waste as well” she jumped when her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Guessing it was going to be Jon asking how his little girl was, she flipped it open to reveal the message.

Jess sorry about before. I just miss you and meant what I said on the card. Friends. See you @5. Jase.

She snapped it shut and slipped it back in her pocket. “No one important, now let’s eat” she said picking up her sandwich and taking a bite. George shook his head something was going on and he’d make sure he got to the bottom of this.

~~

Five – thirteen and she still wasn’t here. Where the hell was she? He brought the half filled beer to his lips and took a long sip. The nervous tension inside him was bubbling away making him more anxious with every minute that passed by.

He’d called her and got her voicemail, he’d sent two text messages and still no reply. He’d just wanted to talk to her give her the benefit of the doubt she’d not turned into a trumped up American tart that thought she was better than everyone else because of HIM. It wasn’t Jesse’s fault, sweet unassuming Jesse had trusted him, that pathetic symbol of all that was good in the world Jon Bon Jovi. She would never see it. So Jason had to make her see it. Once he was gone, it would be one down out of hundreds. And maybe then Jesse would see the real American Heroes rather than the instant ones with all the fame and money in the world. Just maybe.

Five-thirty three he left twenty bucks on the table and stormed out of the bar. She’d never showed or call, nothing. Well fuck them all.