Chapter Twenty Four

Jon drove around to Jesse’s; he’d calmed down and immediately regretted leaving without resolving things, he was thankful that Richie had made him see some sense as often his stubborn nature got away with him on the best of times.

He paused at the garden of the complex and picked a couple of daisies out of the garden and quickly made his way towards her door. He could see a light on inside.
He took a deep breath and knocked.

A few moments later the door was opened but it wasn’t Jesse who he came face to face with, it was Kia. His expression darkened when she laid her eyes on Jon.

“What do you want?” she asked him standing with her arms crossed.

Jon sighed. “Is Jesse here? I need to see her Kia” Jon said sincerely.

“She’s asleep, but do come in Jon” the tone of her voice wasn’t a welcoming one.

Kia went back to the kitchen and continued to tidy up her friends place.

“So what happened?” Kia asked as she scrubbed the coffee pot.

Jon raised his eyebrows “You mean she didn’t tell you?” he asked surprised.

“She was in too much of a state, and it came out jumbled so I made her go to sleep” Kia said not removing her eyes from the coffee pot. She knew most of the story as Jesse had sobbed her way through it when she’d come around at her friends plea, but she wanted to hear it from him.

Jon picked up a dish towel and started drying the dishes that she had washed.

“I over reacted and I need to apologize to her” he said. Kia smiled. She wanted to be hard on him she really did but from Jesse had told her, she knew he did have some right to be upset.

“Jon, I understand why you were angry, I really do” she said softly her brown eyes connecting with his.

“I thought you didn’t know” Jon asked with a small smirk. Kia grinned.

“She told me, but I wanted to see what your stance was on the whole situation, and she’d probably hate me for it, but don’t blame yourself totally for this Jon, you shouldn’t have said what you said to her though” she said as she handed him the clean wet coffee pot.

“I know, it was uncalled for, it was just a shock, that’s all” Jon admitted. He was thankful Kia hadn’t dragged him over the coals as he was convinced when he arrived she would of.

“Jon, I don’t know what you are feeling, but something tells me if you are here, you obviously do care about her a lot” Kia conceded.

“I love her Kia” Jon admitted freely. Kia raised her eyebrows.

“Love? You hardly know her Jon” Kia said surprised at his free omission.

“I know its crazy, and honestly Kia, I never use the word lightly, but I really do, there is something about her, I just am drawn to, I have been so lost for so long, and she just feels like, well home” Jon admitted finally realizing it himself.

Kia smiled.” Well I’ll be damned” she just shook her head. She’d never expected him to say that, and yet there was something resembling conviction in the way he had said it.

“I need to talk to her; can I go up and see her?” Jon asked Kia looked at him; his face was full of pain and unrest. She just nodded.

“But if you upset her again...” she said trailing off as she reached for a large butcher’s knife and picking it up. Jon’s eyes widened but then saw the cheeky grin on her face.

“I promise, I will try not to” he said holding his hands up in mock surrender cracking a grin. He picked up the daises and went to walk up the stairs. He entered her room; a dim light coming from the lamp illuminated the room. She was asleep on her side facing him, hugging a pillow. She looked beautiful, but he could see the pain that was still set in her face.

He sat down on the side of the bed and stroked her cheek softly. Her eyes soon flickered and she focused and looked up to meet his.

‘”Jon?” she croaked. His heart pained when he saw how red and swollen her eyes were.

“Hey Baby Girl” he spoke softly said stroking her hair. He just wanted to dive in there and take the pain away for her, he really did, reach into her heart and lock it away so she didn’t have to go through this, but this time it he realized it wasn’t something he could fix. She sat up rubbing her eyes and brushing her hair back.

“Jesse-“he began but she stopped him.

“Jon, please. I need to say something” she said cutting him off. He nodded silently.

“Jon, I am so sorry for what happened, and please don’t say it’s ok, because I know its not. It was inappropriate and I know I’ve hurt you” she said softly as she took his hand. “I am sorry, and whether you believe me or not, you’re not a substitute for him, honestly” she sincerely pleaded.

Her words hit him as he remembered his accusations.
“Jesse, baby I was out of line with what I said. I have no idea, or can’t even imagine what you have been through and I flipped out, and for that I am sorry. But I honestly just want you to happy baby, that’s all I want”

Jesse smiled with tears brimming in here eyes. “I don’t deserve you Jon, I really don’t” she admitted. Jon smiled warmly.

“Yes you do, you’re just confused at the moment babe that’s all, and I can be patient, as I think you’re worth the wait” he said as he handed the daisies to her.

Jesse laughed “Did you steal these?” she giggled through the evident tears.

“Just ruin my big romantic gesture why don’t ya?” he laughed.

“They are beautiful, no one has ever brought me flowers before, they were never a big thing for Jas” she stopped. She had to start learning not to compare everything to Jason.

Jon grinned “Well then, you may be in for a surprise in the future” he said as caressed her cheek. Finally seeing some of the pain slide from her face, he looked at his watch it was getting late and he had to see the kids.

“Jess I need to go and see my kids, but I just wanted to see you as I didn’t want to leave you like this” he said.

“I know, and I am glad you came, I really am” she said as she reached up to his cheek where she’d previously slapped him. “And I am truly sorry” she said searching his blue eyes for forgiveness.

“Its all forgotten baby, but I will say this Jesse, I think you need a little space to clear your mind, as the last few days well have been intense, I leave for Nashville the day after tomorrow, so I tell you what, I will give you the space to just to breathe and get your wits about you, and maybe you can then decide if you still truly want to come to Nashville, I will be there. But I want you to promise me this, if you do decide to come, please only come because you want to try a new chapter in your life with me, and Jesse, don’t feel pressured to, if you are not ready, I completely understand” Jon said softly as he held her hand.

Jesse smiled, he was truly the sweetest man she’d ever met, he was giving her an out of all of this, Jesse knew she didn’t want that but she knew he was right, she needed a few days to process everything that had been happening.

“Okay it’s a deal” she said, He reached in and wrapped his arms around her squeezing her tight against his chest; she clung to him and hugged him back. She knew this is where she wanted to be, but her heart just needed to let her go.

“Ok baby girl, I need to go, but you ring me if you need anything ok, and maybe I will see you in Nashville?” he smiled as he went to get off the bed, Jesse took his arm.

“Wait” she said, she reached around his neck and brought his head towards her own and pressed her lips against his and pulled away.

“Take care Jesse” Jon said smiling as exited the room, he wanted to beg her to commit to him, but he knew she had to come to that realization on her own. He just hoped that she would.