Monday, January 26, 2009


"Are you sure you're ok with this?" Jon asked slipping a button through his jacket to cinch it at the waist as the car came to a stop.

She smiled and took his hand bringing it to her lips, "more than ok Jon. We've been over this."

"I know Jess, but this is as important to you as it to me, I just want to make sure we're doing it right. As this is it, no third time around. You hear?" his lips twitched in a smile as the driver opened the door behind him.

"Wouldn't dream of it, and Jon?" she leaned up to look over his shoulder. "This isn't city hall."

Jon stepped out of the car and held his hand out for her and looked around pretending to be confused. "No, you're right it's not." He smirked as she clasped his hand and lifted herself out of the car and dusted down the flowing chiffon fabric.

The fresh salty air burned at her nostrils as she stood up straight. What was he up to? They'd agreed to keep this low key without much fuss. He took her hand again and tugged on her arm "Well come on then, but we're losing these" he said as he kicked off his own shoes before bending down and lifting each of her feet out of her white heeled sandals. Tossing them back into car he led her away and over the sand dunes.

It had been close to two years to the day that Jason was sentenced to serve a small sentence in prison which closed the final chapter Jesse and his life. The house had been sold and she moved into the penthouse officially. The record was completed and the Lost Highway world tour had kicked into gear. Life had been crazy between travelling with Jon and keeping up with her fashion commitments but they’d managed it.

The steep climb down towards the beach had her sinking hard into the sand, this was insane. Jon chuckled "Can't have that." He scooped her up in his arms as he took slow steps down.

"Isn't this meant to happen afterwards?" she teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"So are other things but I think we're a bit late for that" he waggled his brows.

"So what you're saying is that we won't need to worry about that tonight then?" she bit down on her bottom lip to hide the smile breaking out on her face.

"Not traditional doesn't mean stupid Jess" he winked. "Hell no."

She squinted through the sun across the deserted beach, where she could just make out three figures shadowed against the sun. "You arranged all this?"

"Guilty" he said settling her down on the flat and taking her hands. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The complicated looking twist that held her hair up still was firmly in place. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.

"Still time to change your mind" he grinned into the kiss.

"Hell no" she repeated his own words and she let herself lean into his kiss.

Getting married was something she wanted, they were both more than ready for it and survived two years with each other with ease, even through Jon's toughest touring schedule in years.

"Hey – we haven't got all day here, I've got things to do." the jab of his best friend pulled them apart.

Jon patted him on the arm "Good to see you man, thanks for coming"

"Like I'd miss this. Gotta make sure you two actually do this. Long fuckin time overdue you know" he grinned at Jesse.

Jesse smiled as she hugged her best friend Kia, "Hey you, glad you're here, you look amazing" she said as pulled Jesse back in arms length. The gown she was wearing in keeping with the theme was a simple white halter neck with a flowing skirt.

Kia fingered the fabric "It turned out fabulous." Jesse had made the dress herself from silk chiffon.

"Thanks hun, and you knew about this huh?" she asked waving around her.

"Sure we did – when Jon suggested it, I knew you'd love it." She stood back with Richie and hooked her arm through his. Jesse couldn't help the smile, who would have thought that Richie and Kia would have become such a strong suited match.

"Now have we got a wedding here or what?" Richie asked.

"We sure have" Jon took her hand as they all stood in front of the celebrant.


"So do I get the pleasure of the first dance with my new wife?" he grinned as he lifted her from the seat.

"I'm not sure, I've already had offers" she teased taking a sip from her wine and placing it back down on the table.

He cocked his eyebrow "Oh really? From whom?" he asked curiously as he wrapped his arms around her waist dragging her closer to him. Her scent of vanilla was one that he'd never get sick of as long as he lived.

"Your brothers for one" she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her forehead to his.

He laughed as he dropped a kiss on her lips "Always want what Jonny has, typical" he teased. She began to sway to the music in the club and closed her eyes. His brother had organized a dinner with just close family and friends in his New Jersey Club that night.

"You're part of that now you know? You're a Bongiovi, think you can handle it?" He moved his lips across her proud jaw line up to her forehead.

"Well I've learned from the best" she winked.

She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder just catching a glimpse of the flash of white gold from her ring finger. Sometimes it was still hard to believe she had such a different life than years ago with Jason.

Jon was so different, Jason may have been a soldier of war but Jon was a soldier of something far greater. Her life.

"This is it Jesse, I'm never going to let anything happen to you. It's just you and me now k?"

She looked up knowing inside her this was where she was meant to be. She brushed the cinnamon hair from his face and nodded. "Just you and me."

He tugged her closer as the music played and closed his eyes. She was here, she was safe. And she was his. Forever.

You're the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I'll never be lonely
You're my only one
And I love the things
I really love the things that you do
You're my best friend

The End.

Note from the Author: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story and come on this journey with me, Jesse and Jon have been a part of my life for just under a year and this was hard to let it end, believe me. But it felt right, their story had been told and they were finally happy :) I have loved all the comments and feedback throughout this journey and am so pleased you've enjoyed it too. There is more fiction to come from me, if you haven't checked out Under the Influence please do so, and I'm working on a new idea as we speak :)


Sunday, January 18, 2009

One Hundred and Two

Jon dug his fingertips into his arm as he sat overlooking the New York morning. The haze hung thick over the buildings that arrowed high into the air. She'd gone. Jesse was on her way to see the bastard that caused all this. He'd said he trusted her mind but honestly, he'd expected her to see sense. Maybe he didn't understand her as well as he thought he did.

Jon would have of loved to seen the bastard himself. Just to make sure they were going to slap him with a huge sentence to keep him rotting there. He deserved nothing less. If it had been Jesse taken and hurt, would she still feel this way? He'd doubt it. The worst thing was the fear of him always being there in her mind. Sure, you always remembered your first loves but fuck this wasn't love. He was a madman. He didn’t deserve the love or attention that Jesse was still prepared to give him.

He could have stopped her if he’d wanted to. But what would of it achieved? Another screaming match? If it did close the issue once and for all then great. But he wasn’t convinced.

He huffed in disgust and gave up before padding back inside. He was going to brood until she got back. There was nothing else he could do about it. He spotted the pile of demos finally back from the recording company. Maybe he should listen to those. They had to finalise the record in a matter of weeks. He picked up his cell phone, his thum hovering over the send call button with her number displayed on the screen. Should she of respected his wishes? Was it really that much he’d asked for?

“Dammit” he muttered dropping it back onto the couch. He wasn’t going to beg her not to do it. She had her own mind. That’s what he damn well loved about her. He just hoped in this instance, she’d make the right decision.


Jesse cranked the handbrake of the car and leaned back closing her eyes. What was she doing? Was she crazy?

She gathered her things and entered the cream colored block building. It was nothing like the grey looking dungeons on television. It was pretty plain and ordinary. The reception area had you sign in and shown to a small waiting area. It was minimum security after all.

“Jesse Adams, I’m here to see Jason Adams” she said quietly to the desk clerk.

“Sure, just sign these and I’ll need to search your personal effects” the tall burly guard instructed her. Square would be the best way to describe him. His upper body was more like a fridge, mirroring his square jawed face.

She signed the register and handed over her bag. The twitch in her arms had her hugging them around herself. Jesus, stop it. Nothing to be nervous about. He is confined. He can’t hurt you.

“That’s fine Ms Adams, just take a seat and we’ll let you know when he’s ready for you. We’ll have him in a room with a guard standing supervising if you’re comfortable with that. Its protocol” he explained picking up the handset to make a call.

She nodded and took a seat. She still didn’t know what she wanted to say to him, the entire drive to the prison she’d rehearsed in her mind what she’d say to him.

“Jason, why did you do this?”

“Jason, why Jon?”

“Jason, you’re not the man I married anymore…”

She buried her face in her hands, her heart was pounding hard against her chest she was sure it was going to explode. The look on Jon’s face when she left this morning came into view. He’d hardly said anything but the pain was etched all over his face. The small smile he gave her never quite reached his eyes and his kiss goodbye, had been a brush on the cheek.

He wasn’t happy. He’d made that clear but the one thing they both had at the end of everything was the respect for each other. Had she chosen to forgive him over the mob incident? Even she wasn’t sure.

Her mind flashed back to when Jason and her first bough the house, the giggles as he carried her across the threshold. Her hand clutched to her chest, as she struggled to keep her breathing even. They were in love then. There was a time she thought she’d never know anything else apart from his warmth and smile. Then he was gone.

The next memory had her skin tingling. It was in the same house, but the warmth and the smiles were much bigger. The feel of his hands on her back, his fingertips grazing down her spine. Their cheeks pressed up against each other as he sang her his song in a slow dance.


The smile spread across her face, as did the days of lying in bed strewn between sheets making love until they were exhausted. He was like no other man she’d ever met. Even Jason when they were in their prime, he still wasn’t Jon. Jason was the protector of the country, where Jon was the protector of her heart.

“Ms Adams?” she looked up as the guard came back in, “we’re ready for you,”

She nodded standing and tucking her bag under her arm. She followed the man down the narrow corridor and stopped as they reached the door.

“When you’re ready.”

She looked through the small square glass window to the simple room, two chairs and a table….and a man she once knew sitting in an bright orange jumpsuit. Her breath caught in her throat at his appearance. He made a homeless person looked well cared for. The scruff on his chin, and the dark rings around his eyes shadowed his face.

She clutched her chest as her heart broke. And then she felt nothing. Nothing for the man that sat there looking lost and heartbroken.


“Miss?” the guard snapped her gaze up.

“Uh, right” she curled her hand around the steel handle, except she couldn’t bring herself to open the door. The orange jumpsuit blurred as she fought to control her tears. She released the door handle and let her hand fall to her belly. The nerves twisting in knots.

“No, I don’t need to go in anymore” she whispered. She turned away from the door, looking over her shoulder one more time at the man that was her past.

“I know my way out thank you” she quickly paced down the corridor and pushed open the double doors to fresh air. She leaned back against the cold brick and breathed out.

“Oh god” she brought her hand to her throat. She let one tear fall, and replaced it with a grin. It was over, she was free and she knew where she belonged with no questions asked. And no guilt.

The click of her heels followed her back to the car. She needed to go home.


What a new concept that was that wasn’t her own house. It was time to move on, she needed to arrange more with her lawyers, have the house sold and the divorce proceedings well under way.

When Jesse arrived back at the apartment, she let herself in. The double doors to the balcony were wide open, and the gentle strums of a guitar could be heard. She dropped her things and kicked off her shoes as she walked out.


He looked up and his eyes widened “Jess, hey,” he flipped the guitar off his lap and leaned it against the balcony. “You’re back already?”

“Yeah…” she looked out over the city and then back to him.

“I’m sorry” she stroked the top of his head brushing the hair back from his face.

He pulled her down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist to brace her. “Don’t be. I behaved ridiculously. I can’t ever understand why you wanted to go but I realize I don’t have to. I just have to trust you.”

She moved her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead against his holding his gaze. “Thank you. I didn’t go in Jon.”

His eyebrow winged, “You didn’t? Why?”

“I got there, I got to the damn door and saw him and then I just realized I didn’t need to do it. I didn’t want to see him. I thought I did, but I don’t.” she pressed her lips against his and closed her eyes.

“Jess, I’m so proud of you.” His mouth closed on hers, drawing her closer. Her vanilla scent and sweet taste wrapping around him. His hands moved up to her face, as he opened her to him.

He grazed his thumb across her jaw line. “You mean too much to me.”

She nodded as she gave into his kiss. This is where she was meant to be. “Thank you” she whispered into his mouth. “For protecting me.”

His eyes opened as he met her soft brown ones “I’d do it again Jess, you mean far too much to me now.”

She cupped his cheek in her hand “As do you. And it’s time to move on. For good Jon, I want everything with you. The whole lot.”

He chuckled, “You’re getting it anyway, whether you want it or not. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Chapter One Hundred and One

Jesse lay tucked into his side watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. The sheet that they’d used to cover themselves twisted around his body riding low on his belly just above the tuff of hair that trailed down. With the tips of her fingers she drew lazy circles over his ribs avoiding the dark purple patches which still littered his body. She was sated and she was content, but she wasn’t happy. It still grated a nerve with her and she tried to understand in herself if it was the idea of him in cahoots with the mob or that he did it behind her back.

As her thumb grazed gently over his nipple his lips twitched and his eyes opened slowly, she felt him take a deep breath before he slowly stretched around her.

“That’s a dangerous game to play Jess” he teased dropping a kiss on her forehead. His arm around her gripped her shoulder tighter as he slowly rolled onto his side with a small wince.

“You ok?” her eyes flicked up watching the pain momentarily etch across his face before it softened again.

He nodded “Just a bit tender” he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear “But it was worth it” his lips met hers, his tongue breaking past her lips and into her mouth. She accepted the kiss, her hand reaching for his cheek.

“We need to talk” the color deepened in his eyes. She trailed her fingers down his arm and circled his wrist. “Firstly about distracting me with sex” the small smile twitched on her lips as his eyes stayed locked to hers.

He managed a small smile “Now come on, we haven’t since- well since I got home and I’d missed you”

She tapped her fingers across his chest “That’s not the first time you’ve done that either Jon” she tried to sound angry, but unsuccessfully.

He nosed into her ear pushing his lips against her ear “Well I didn’t hear you complaining” his hand slipped under the sheet across her back and down to cup her ass. He tugged her in gently.

She sighed and breathed in his scent “Would you use them again?” she asked against his skin. That’s what bugged her was whether this would happen again. She understood his need to protect his family and her but still it ate away deep inside her that he’d done this.

Jon continued to stroke her hair as he carefully thought about his answer. Would he? He couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t if the time called for it. “If you were in danger or my children, then yes I would Jess” Honesty won. There had been something that was bothering Jon, niggling away at the back of his mind.

“Jess does it bother you more that I know them and did this, or that it was your ex-husband?” he asked.

She snapped her head up to meet his gaze, he was serious? “Well of course it bothers me. I did once love the man”

Jon nodded “Do you still love him?”

Jesse felt a lump build in her throat. Of course she did, but nothing like the way she felt about Jon. Not even when Jason was normal. “Well I do still care about him” she admitted her stomach twisted in a small knot as she felt him stiffen around her.
“I see” was all that came from him. Jesse looked up and the vacant dull expression on his eyes that stared out into space.

She shimmied herself to sit up, leaving him on his back against the bed. “There’s something I need to ask how you feel about” she smoothed down the sheets around them as the crimson glow of dusk settled into the room.

He dropped his hands away from her and nodded “ What is it Jess?” she looked everywhere around the room before back to him.

“I want to go and see him”

Jon’s eyes widened and he felt the anger bubble inside him as he shot up from the bed growling as his body soon reminding him he was still fragile. “What? You can’t be fucking serious?” he asked.

“Jon I need to know. I need to l know what the hell happened to him, why he did this to you. To us” she’d been thinking about it for awhile. It was closure she needed. Her heart was broken and it would never recover from what he did to Jon. But she had to know.

Jon raked his hand through his hair “Because he’s a fucking nut case Jesse, that’s why. What else do you expect him to say? He’s sorry and he still loves you and wants you back?” his tone was harsh but fuck he couldn’t help it.

She pulled the sheet up around her body “No it’s not what I expect. I want to know why he felt compelled to beat you into the ground”

Jon stepped out of bed and tugged his jeans on “Because he went crazy in his prison of war camp Jess, then he came home and his wife had moved on with some other guy” he fastened the button fly “So he didn’t like that so he tried to do what most military minded people think “Eliminate the problem. There, save yourself a visit” he snatched his t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head.

“Jon, please—you don’t understand” but he held up his hand.

“Look Jess I can’t stop you doing anything. I’d never do that to you. You’ve got your own mind. But I fail to understand what it’s going to achieve than bring you more heartache” why she would even consider this? Jesus. Jason didn’t need anyone’s sympathy right now. Especially not hers.

Jesse sighed “I need closure” she reached for her robe and wound it around her body and fastened the knot.

“He’s a criminal Jess” Jon leaned against the doorframe.

She cocked her hand on her hip “Oh right and the guys you called in a favor from are all just good abiding citizens of the law now are they?” She arched a brow. If he wanted to challenge her, she’d challenge him right back.

He snorted “Are you going to throw this back in my face every time we argue? Just so I know”

She went to march right past him but stopped when she reached him “No I’m not but I can’t believe how contradicting you’re being Jon. It’s never the same rules for everyone else is it?” she carried on up to the kitchen where they were meant to be having a late dinner.

The fire in her eyes made him think twice about what he was going to reply as she stormed off. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before following her up there. He slid onto a seat at the breakfast bar and watched her throw the packet of fresh pasta from the fridge out to the bench.

He flattened his palm on the counter top and sighed “Look I’m sorry. I hate this shit Jess. This bastard has caused us to do nothing but fight ever since he’s been back in your life and I hate arguing with you”

She dumped the handful of tomatoes down on the granite surface and turned to him, he was right. They did seem to argue about Jason a lot. “I hate arguing with you too Jon but you can’t tell me how to feel about this”

He slammed his hand down “Jess. I never fucking did. I hate what he’s doing to you even though he’s behind bars” he hopped off the chair and walked around to her and took her hands in his. “He was going to kill me Jess, unless I gave you up and let him have you. So you’ll have to excuse me for not wanting to throw him a damn party”

She broke his gaze and her head fell to the floor, the black and white tiles started to blur into one as she shook her head. God was she being selfish here? “Have you ever loved someone so much and watched them change and become someone you wonder how you ever loved them in the first place?” she pulled one of her hands away and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “A man you used to make love to, think the world of. And he turns into something completely different?” she asked looking up to meet his gaze.

The pain in her eyes made his belly twist in knots. “No I haven’t” he said quietly. He used the knuckle of his index finger and lightly brushed her cheek “You can’t blame yourself for this and I know deep down inside of you. You still do”
She sniffed as he pulled her in closer to his heat “I can’t help it” was all she could say.

Jon cupped her head and pressed a kiss to the top of it “I love you Jess, and I respect you in every way. I can’t stop you from going down to see him. But I won’t pretend to be happy about it. Just think before you do, what you really want to achieve from it and ask yourself is it worth the heartache you want to put yourself through? And you if do that and your answer is still yes. I won’t stop you” he held her tight letting his arms wrap around her shoulders. He then pulled away and walked back into the lounge leaving her there alone.